Them
by x0LaBellaVita0x
Summary: Four years ago a traumatic event happened in Bellas life, changing it. Alone and broken she finds herself in the hands of the Cullens. Things get slightly better but memories still haunt her Enter Edward, a boy with haunting secrets of his own. All human.
1. Begining

I sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair. I could hear every word they were saying. I wonder if they knew that. "She comes off a little shy and secluded, but she really is a great kid." Ms. Viola said. Like I haven't heard that before, I scoffed. That's her line she tells every foster family who has an interest in me. "Oh, we have no doubt." A man's calm voice said. He had one of those voices that made you think he was good looking. But I have not seen him yet so I wouldn't know. I saw a woman with caramel colored hair poke her head out of the room the three of them were talking in. Ms. Viola, and a married couple, interested in taking home a new daughter. When the woman saw I was looking at her, she smiled a warm and friendly smile. I looked away, keeping my face blank. One thing I've learned, is people can be deceiving.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the woman frown slightly, then go back into the room. What can I say, I was used to disappointing people. "Would you like to meet your new daughter?" Ms. Viola asked, I could hear the fake smile in her voice. Apparently Ms. Viola forgot to mention the small, little, most important word of that whole sentence. Foster. This new couple will be just like all the other foster families. Keep me around for about three months, enough time to save up there weekly checks, then send me back here. Like nothing happened. The longest foster family I stayed at was for a year, and that was the family before these people. My thoughts began to travel back, when Ms. Viola's voice brought me back to reality. "Bella?" She asked, you could tell from her voice that she thought less of me. It's not like I have a long line of probable family's that want to adopt me, I'm seventeen, I'm long pass the cute stage.

I looked at her, waiting for her to go through her normal routine of introducing me to them. Them. That's what I use to refer to the couples. It was me against them. And so far, it was a losing battle. A part of me cant wait until I age out of the system. Then I can get away from it all, pretend like it never happen. "Bella, this is Dr. Cullen, and his wife. Carlisle, Esme, I'd like you to meet Bella." Ms. Viola said, with another fake smile. The woman, Esme, seemed to notice this, because she glanced at Ms. Viola out of the corner of her eyes. The look was disappointment. "Hello, Bella." The man, Carlisle, greeted me. I looked at him, his face was sincere, and a welcoming smile lit up his face. I sighed, and looked away. Happy people are always the worst at first, and even worse when they drop me off, and run. "Well, Bella why don't you grab your bag, and we'll walk out to the Cullen's car." Ms. Viola said, nodding to my lone suitcase on the ground next to me. "Bag?" Esme asked, looking shocked by the singular. What does she expect? A foster kid to have a closet full of clothes? Give me a break. I rolled my eyes, stood up, grabbed my suitcase, and walked in the direction of the main entrance. A few moments later, I heard footsteps following me.

I got to the main doors, and stopped. I looked out into the parking lot. There were five cars. Two mini-vans, Ms. Viola's mini cooper, a Camry, and a Mercedes Benz. I walked outside, and made my way up to the Mercedes Benz. Dr. Cullen and his wife exchanged an uneasy glance. Like it was some mystery I was able to pick out a doctors car between an old beat up Camry, and a Benz. I'm a foster kid, I'm not stupid. Ms. Viola gave me a look, as if to say I did something wrong. "How did you know this was our car?" Dr. Cullen asked, looking to his car, raising an eyebrow. "It's called, using your brain." I said, tapping my temple with my finger. "Bella." Ms. Viola warned, narrowing her eyes at me. I glared at her. Dr. Cullen cleared his throat. "You ready to go home, Bella?" Dr. Cullen asked, smiling the welcoming one again. "Home." I mumbled. I would never be _home._ I'll never have a _home. _Mrs. Cullen opened the back door for me. "Bella, it was nice seeing you again. Shall we not try for another time?" Ms. Viola asked, eyeing me. "Bye, Vi." I said, smiling at the nickname I gave her four years ago. I sat down on the seat, and Mrs. Cullen shut the door behind me. "Call me anytime. I really hope this works out." Ms. Viola said. "We're hopeful." Dr. Cullen said, smiling. I watched as they both got into the car, Dr. Cullen started it, and we drove away.

_Playlist:  
__Mr. Brightside- The Killers_


	2. Broken

Ch. 2: Broken

"We have a son, Emmett, he may seem a little frightening at first. But don't worry, he wouldn't hurt a fly. Our daughter, Alice, gets along with everyone. I think you'll like her. We also have another son, Edward, he is adopted. He keeps to himself a lot, so don't take it personal if he doesn't take an interest in you." Dr. Cullen was giving me the low down on his family. I'll admit it, he had a voice to match his looks. He was very handsome, I'll give him that much. Mrs. Cullen had a warm face, that would make a stranger automatically very trustworthy of her. I tried to picture what their kids would look like, but came up with nothing. Children make it harder in a sense. Especially if they are young. Young kids get attach way to easily. I guess you could say that I have learned a lot in my four years in foster care. That's what happens, though, you learn a lot. Some things, you didn't even want to know.

We got off the highway, and pulled off onto a drive way deep in the woods. Then, a massive white house came into view. It had to have at least three stories, a huge garage off to the side, and a porch. They're rich, go figure. I looked around for any sign of life, but the house was empty. "All the kids are at school. As much as Alice begged to be here, we thought it was best for you if they weren't here. Wouldn't want to overwhelm you." Mrs. Cullen said, grabbing my suitcase from the trunk. Dr. Cullen came up behind her, took the suitcase from her hand, and replaced it with his in hers. They are all lovey dovey, great. I followed the two of them into the huge house. I let out a low whistle when I saw the inside. Off to the right was a living room, two long couches, a chair, a fireplace with pictures lined on the mantle, and a plasma screen TV hanging from the wall. To the left was the dining room, there wasn't anything too special about the room, expect a grand piano in the corner. I almost smiled, but couldn't. My mom made me take lessons for a couple of years. I complained before every lesson, but now I'm glad she pushed me to play.

"I'll give you the grand tour." Mrs. Cullen said, motioning me to follow. We walked through a big doorway, and the kitchen came into the view. She didn't say anything, it was pretty self explanatory. I followed her and Dr. Cullen up a flight of stairs. "Emmett's room, sorry about the mess. I told him to clean it." Mrs. Cullen scolded, as we stopped at a room. I peeked inside out of curiosity. The walls a mix of different colors, it actually looked pretty cool. "Alice's room." She said, as we went to the room across the hall. Everything flashed girl. From the pink walls, to the huge closet in the corner. "This is Carlisle's office. If he isn't working, you will surely find him in here." Mrs. Cullen said, smiling at her husband. The office was a good size, one wall was covered with books, many of which looked ancient. Another wall was covered with paintings, and a big desk sat in the center. I followed them to another flight of stairs. Three floors, I was right. The first room on the left was by far my favorite. It faced the south from what I could see, the back wall was a full window. One wall was covered with shelf after shelf of CDs in one corner of the room was a very sophisticated sound system. A wide, comfortable looking, black leather couch took up the length of another wall. The floor was the color of gold, and there was fabric, a darker shade, covering the walls. Good acoustics. "Edward's room." Mrs. Cullen explained.

After I was done staring at the room, we moved on to the closed door across the hall. "Your room." Mrs. Cullen announced, opening the door. I took a breath, and stepped in. The walls were a dark blue, it didn't scream girl, that was good. A white couch was up against one wall, and a bed was up against the other. A stereo was also in the corner, but nothing as complicated as the one in Edward's room. An empty closet was also taking up space. "I didn't go clothes shopping, because I didn't know what you would like. We can go later on tonight, I'm sure Alice is just dying to come." Mrs. Cullen said, smiling fondly about her daughter. I had that once, but that was a long time ago. "We will leave you to get settled. The kids should be coming home in about a half hour. Just call if you need one of us." Dr. Cullen said, as he and Mrs. Cullen left me alone. I stared at my room once again. It was probably the best room that I've ever had at any foster family. Maybe this is a good sign, although, I highly doubted that. They were probably just showing off, saying they have money. I didn't bother to unpack my suitcase, I just pushed it into the closet.

I walked over and sat down on the white leather couch. Then I realized it was quiet. Deafening. I got up, turned on the stereo, and put on a random station. The song was Broken by Lifehouse. How ironic, I thought. The noise made me a little bit more comfortable. I cant stand silence. To me, silence screams the truth, noise, however, drains it all out. I sat back down on the leather couch, and let the music surround me. Music is my escape. It's that piece of sanity I am able to hold onto no matter where I am. Awhile later, I could distantly hear a car pulling up, doors opening and closing. The house door opened, and I could hear people talking. Dr. Cullen was the easiest voice to pull out of the group. A heard a deep voice, a soprano like voice, and a velvet voice also. I was surprised I didn't hear Mrs. Cullen. Another man, and another woman also spoke. Jeez, how many kids do these people have? I could hear footsteps getting closer and closer, until they were coming from right outside the door. I jumped up, off the couch, there was a quick knock, and then the door opened. The first person I saw was a short girl, with spiky black hair, pointing every which way. Alice, maybe. She stared at me for a moment, and then stepped in, followed by a huge guy with curly blonde hair, and dimples. Emmett. He didn't look scary.

"Oh, wow. I always wanted a sister, having two brothers gets tiring after a while. Way too much work if you ask me. You'll understand what I mean soon enough. Oops, I almost forgot, I'm Alice." Alice said, stepping closer to me. I took a step back, keeping a distance between us. Hurt, or maybe confusion, crossed her face. "Let her breathe, Ali." The big guy said, Emmett. "I'm Emmett." He said, moving to stand next to Alice. I didn't say anything, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to introduce myself, or not. "You're Bella." Alice said, like I'd forgotten my own name. "I think she knows her own name, Alice." A smooth voice came from the door way. I looked up, and a man was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. He had unusual bronze hair, and striking emerald green eyes. There was something about him that set him apart from Emmett and Alice.

Alice sighed, frustrated. "Shouldn't you have locked yourself in your room already?" She asked, turned around. The mysterious man rolled his eyes at her. "Carlisle told me, no, demanded me to introduce myself. So, here I am. I'm Edward." He introduced, then just as fast as he was there, he was gone again. "Brothers." Alice muttered. The three of us stood silent, the only noise was coming from my stereo. "Bella, come down stairs, there are people I want you to meet. Please?" Alice asked. I sighed, and followed her and Emmett down the stairs. Edward's door was closed. I guess what I was told about him was true, he did stick to his own business. Good, I have a feeling him and I will get along just fine. We walked into the living room, where two people were occupying one couch, watching TV. One was a blonde guy, with blue eyes. The other was a blonde girl with long hair, and blue eyes. They looked like twins. "Rose, Jasper, this is Bella. Bella this is Rose and Jasper. Rose is Emmett's girlfriend, and Jasper is my boyfriend." Alice explained, smiling. Emmett sat down next to the girl, Rose, and grabbed her hand. Alice walked, or maybe danced, and sat next to Jasper. He smiled down at her. My stomach churned, more love. Great.

I walked and sat down on the chair. I felt their eyes watching me. They acted as if everything was some big deal. "Is she a mute?" Rose asked. "I don't know, maybe, Dad?" Alice called. "I'm not a mute." I said, it sounded more angry then I intended. "What?" Dr. Cullen asked, walking in from the kitchen. "Nothing, never mind." Alice said. He glanced at me once, then walked back the way he came. We sat in an uncomfortable silence. I felt like screaming, but bit my tongue instead. My stomach rumbled, and I remembered I hadn't eaten since about eight this morning. I stood up, making as little noise as possible, and made my way to the kitchen. I passed the piano then, and stopped altogether. I don't know what possessed me, but I all of sudden walked over to it, and sat down on the bench. My fingers ran over the keys fluidly, even though I was a little rusty, it had been a while since I played. It was when I finished the piece that I realized what I had just played. It was the song that I wrote that night. I probably still had the original piece of paper I wrote it on, all tear stained and everything. Anger washed over me then, and I slammed my hands down on the keys, making noise echo through the room.

_Playlist: _

_Broken- Lifehouse_

_Here We Go Again- Paramore_


	3. Dark

Chapter 3: Dark

**Edward POV**

Carlisle and Esme were bringing home another orphan today. What is it with them and bringing home emotionally scarred kids? wasn't I enough for them to handle? Worst, Esme made us go to school today. Saying something about the girls transition, and making it go more smooth. What ever the hell that means. Alice was bouncing off the walls with excitement. She was finally getting the sister she never had. Emmett was excited too, he just didn't broadcast it for the world to see. He was more collected. Me on the other hand. It didn't matter to me either way. I'm in my room most of the time, and that's how I like it. I like being by myself, not bothered, living in my own world. I suppressed a sigh. I guess on some level, it is really noble what Carlisle and Esme are doing. Giving an older kid in the system a chance at a relatively normal life, and family. I don't even think Alice should be getting excited. It's not like any offal adoption papers were signed yet. This is more of a test, in a sense. I should know, I went through the same thing three years ago. I stayed with the Cullen's for a month before I was officially adopted by them. I had it lucky, though, I was never with any other family besides the Cullen's. I was in the building with the other kids for about three days before Carlisle, and Esme picked me up.

We don't know much about the new girl. Just that her name is Isabella Swan, she is seventeen. Her parents died in a car accident four years ago, and she has been in the system all that time. That sucks. I drove Emmett, his girlfriend Rose, Alice, her boyfriend Jasper, and myself home from school. Alice wouldn't stop talking about going shopping, staying up all night talking, sharing secrets, apparently that's what sisters do. Before the car even came to a complete stop in front of the house, Alice was out of the car, sprinted to the door. "Hurry up." She said, from the front door. I rolled my eyes, and the five of us walked inside, only to be greeted by Carlisle, and Esme. "Alice calm down." Carlisle said. "I cant. I'm happy. This is great." Alice smiled. I hope she doesn't get to attach, you know, in case things don't work out. "She's been like this all day at school. All. Day." Emmett complained. "Take it easy, okay? This is all new to her. She's shy." Carlisle said. "Yeah, yeah." Alice waved him off. "Jasper and I will wait in the living room." Rose said. "Yeah, you guys go up first. We'll meet her when she's ready." Jasper said. The two of them walked to the living room, sat on a couch, and turned on the TV. Alice ran to the stairs, Emmett laughed and followed. I made my way to the kitchen.

"Edward." Carlisle's voice stopped me before I even got remotely close. Damn. "Yeah?" I asked, turning around. "Go introduce yourself. That's all I'm asking for." He said. I sighed and looked to Esme. She nodded towards the stairs. So much for my brilliant plan. I trudged up the stairs, purposely slow. It's not that I didn't want to meet her, but at the same time, she will be living right across the hall from me. I'm sure we are bound to bump into each other. Why rush things? It seemed I had arrived at the perfect time. The three of them were standing there, all silent. I leant up against the door frame, and watched. I could see Bella clearly. She was a few inches taller than Alice, maybe 5'4". her mahogany colored hair was loose around her shoulders. She was wearing a worn out pair of jeans, and a sweat shirt. She looked like an innocent little kid, not knowing what to say, or what to do. Her eyes were the most interesting thing about her. They were a warm, chocolate brown color. And they looked nervously from Emmett to Alice. She looked _scared_. "You're Bella." Alice said. Bella looked at her incredulously, a crease appearing in her forehead, that made her look older. "I think she knows her own name, Alice." I said, making my presence known. Bella looked up at me, she stared at me straight in the eyes, like she was actually seeing me, then looked away. Her eyes held mysteries, and secrets.

Alice sighed, annoyed. I smiled at the sound. "Shouldn't you have locked yourself in your room already?" She asked, turned around. I rolled my eyes, un impressed. "Carlisle told me, no, demanded me to introduce myself. So, here I am. I'm Edward." I introduced, then before I was asked to stay, I turned and went to my room. Just from looking at this insignificant girl once, her face was etched into my brain. I didn't understand. What did that mean? I sighed, and collapsed onto my bed. A few minutes later I heard them walking down the stairs. Alice must have convinced Bella to meet Jasper and Rose. I heard Alice call for Carlisle, and it kept all I had in me to stay in my bedroom. I could hear them talking in the living room, but couldn't make out the words. I got up, and was about to put my headphones in, when I heard someone playing my piano. I opened my door to hear better. The music was dark, and edgy. No one else in the house knows how to play the piano, except me. So that only left Bella. I crept down the stairs, and peeked around the corner to the piano. Bella was sitting there, her back to me, fingers flowing over the keys.

The TV in the living room was on mute, they were obviously listening. I saw Esme standing in the kitchen, staring at Bella, adoringly. A few minutes later the song ended, and Bella still sat there. Then, Bella slammed down on the keys, the noise echoed. Esme jumped a little, concern and confusion flashed on her face. It must have taken everything in her to stay in the kitchen where she was, and not go rushing over to Bella's side, asking if she was alright. Bella continued sitting on the bench. Then she stood up, and I quickly turned the corner, out of her sight.

_Playlist: _

_I'm Just A Kid- Simple Plan_

_Lips Of An Angel- Hinder_

_Moonlight Sonata- Beethoven _


	4. Worry

**Chapter 4: Worry**

**Bella POV**

I stood up from the piano bench, and walked towards the kitchen. Mrs. Cullen was standing there, staring. I didn't say anything, or make an attempt to explain myself. I walked past her to the refrigerator. I stood in front of it for a moment, and then looked towards her, almost like I was asking permission. She smiled, and nodded. I opened the fridge, and scanned the shelves, looking for something good. I wasn't surprised that it was completely stocked, every shelf was filled to the edge. I grabbed a soda from the door, I finally found something relatively simple to make, mac n' cheese. I grabbed the box, and sat it on the counter. I looked at Mrs. Cullen. "The cabinet below the sink." She told me. I grabbed the medium sized pan, and filled it with water. A thought occurred to me that I should make two boxes, so I did. When it was done, I made a bowl for myself, and sat down at the breakfast bar. I was perfectly content with eating by myself, but of course that didn't last.

Emmett walked into the kitchen, and was followed by Alice, Jasper, and Rose. "Alright, food." Emmett smiled, looking at the pan on the stove. "Bella made it." Mrs. Cullen said, like it was some big event that everyone needed to know about. It was mac n cheese, not brain surgery. "Thanks, Bella. I'm starving." Emmett said, rubbing his stomach. I think him being starving is going to be a natural occurrence. I watched as the four of them all got bowls for themselves. They sat around me at the breakfast bar. So much for being alone. I quickly finished my bowl, and brought it over to the sink. "Don't worry about that, Bella, I'll take care of it." Mrs. Cullen stopped me from washing it. I shrugged, and made my way up the stairs. No one attempting to stop me. Dr. Cullen's office light was on, he must be working from home today. I snuck past his office, and up the last flight of stairs. Edward's door was closed, and I could faintly hear music. Clair de Lune to be specific. He's got good taste.

I shut the door to my new bedroom behind me. I looked around, not sure of what I wanted to do. I looked out the window, and found that the sun was beginning to set. I opened the window, crawled out, and sat on the roof. I shut the window. I wondered for a moment if I was acting the wrong way towards them. But then again, I wasn't really sure how to act. You think I would know, considering all the foster family's I have been with, but I didn't. maybe I was being too bitchy, or not opening up to them enough. I groaned. I just didn't know. I wasn't sure how long I sat out on the roof, the sun had already gone down, and I was now staring at the full moon. I opened the window, and got back into the bedroom. Only to be greeted by 6 very worried people. Oops. "Oh, Bella, you're all right." Mrs. Cullen sighed, relieved. "We thought you'd run off." Emmett said. "Where would I go?" I asked. None of them answered. I wasn't surprised. "Anyway, I came in to ask if you were ready to go shopping. But you weren't here, so I got worried. Are you ready to go?" Alice asked. They are obviously not very observant, I mean, if Alice had taken the time to look around, she would have found my suitcase still in the closet.

"Yeah. I'm ready." I said, it wasn't like I had a choice in the matter. "Great." Alice smiled, she took another step towards me, as if to test me. I did the same thing I had done earlier, I stepped back. "Guess I failed the test, right Alice?" I asked, walking around her, towards the door. Yes, I suppose I was being a little too much of a bitch. I waited at the front door for who ever was going to the mal to arrive. Mrs. Cullen, Alice, and Rose walked down the stairs. Girls night, great. The four of us walked to the Mercedes Benz, and got in. Rose and I were in the back, Mrs. Cullen was driving, and Alice was in the passengers seat. Rose looked uncomfortable. Was I making her uncomfortable? It looked like she was squished up against the door, she was acting like I was going to bite her, or something. I rolled my eyes, and stared at all the trees that flew by. "The closest mall is in Port Angeles. So that's where we are going. We were going to go to Seattle, but it's a school night. Maybe this weekend we can go." Alice said, hopeful. I never understood the point of shopping; crowded malls, over priced clothing, snotty sales people. It hardly even sounds appealing.

About a half hour later, Mrs. Cullen parked the car, and we all filed out. I followed the three of them into the mall, it seemed like they knew the place like the back of their hand. "What kind of clothes do you like, Bella?" Alice asked, as she shuffled through clothes. I looked down at what I was wearing. wasn't it obvious? "Jeans, and sweatshirts." I said. Mrs. Cullen laughed a little. "Anything else?" Alice asked. I shook my head. "What about, skirts, or t-shirts?" Alice asked. I shook my head again, causing Alice to groan. I smiled to myself as I walked towards the jeans. About two hours later, we were officially done with shopping. I had gotten five new pairs of jeans, a couple long sleeve shirts, and two new sweatshirts. Alice and Rose also added to their wardrobe. The ride home was silent, Rose kept looking at me out of the corner of her eyes. It didn't bother me, it never did. It was about ten when we got home, and I figured I would go to bed. I did, after all, have school in the morning.

_Playlist: _

_Lost- Katy Perry_


	5. Families

Chapter 5: Families

**Edward POV**

I went back to my room after I watched Bella go into the kitchen. I stopped briefly at the top of the stairs to hear what my friends were saying. "What the hell was that about?" Emmett asked. "Does it look like I know?" Alice asked him. "I didn't even know she could play the piano, she was pretty good too. Hell, I don't even know anything about her." Alice sighed. "It reminded me of the music you hear during a scary movie right before something bad is going to happen." Jasper said. "It did." Rose agreed. They stopped talking about Bella, and I went to my bed room. I shut the door behind me, and turned my stereo on. Clair de Lune filled my room. I laid on my bed, and attempted to do homework. About two hours later, I heard Alice's voice coming from Bella's room. "Hey, Bella, you ready to go shopping?" Alice asked. There was no answered. Then, Alice burst into my room, looking scared. "Have you seen Bella?" She asked me. "No, why?" I asked. "Damn it." She groaned, and ran out of my room, not answering my question. I walked out of my room, and stood in the hall way. "Dad! Mom!" Alice yelled down stairs.

Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose, and Jasper all came up the stairs. "What?" Esme asked. "It's Bella. She's not in her room, I don't know where she is." Alice said, slightly out of breath. Oh. The 6 of them all went into Bella's room, same expression on their faces. Fear. I followed behind, and stayed in the hallway, not entering the room. One, because it wasn't my room to enter, and two, I wasn't about to invade Bella's privacy like that. I wish I could have said the same thing for my family, but that ship sailed. I looked around the room, Alice probably wasn't looking hard enough, but Bella was no where to be seen. "I'll call the police." Carlisle said, he was about to pull out his cell phone, when the window opened. Bella emerged from the darkness, and shut the window. She turned around, and stopped suddenly. Eyes traveling over everyone's face. I don't think she saw me, which I was thankful for. "Oh, Bella, you're all right." Esme said, relieved. "We thought you'd run off." Emmett said. "Where would I go?" Bella asked. No one answered her question she has a good point though. As bad as it sounded, we were the only ones she had. Even in Bella's anger, her voice sounded like bells. "Anyway, I came in to ask if you were ready to go shopping. But you weren't here, so I got worried. Are you ready to go?" Alice asked. Bella looked like she was thinking of something, her eyes flashed to the closet. I looked, and saw her unpacked suitcase in there. If she was running away, I think she would have taken that with her. That's Alice, always jumping to conclusions.

"Yeah. I'm ready." Bella said, I didn't believe her though. She looked the least bit interested in going shopping. Finally, I meet a girl who doesn't live, and breathe shopping. "Great." Alice smiled, she stepped towards Bella, almost determined. Bella did something I didn't expect, she stepped back. "Guess I failed the test, right Alice?" Bella said, stepping by Alice, towards the door. I made my way to the bathroom, out of her way, and watched Bella walk down the stairs. "What was that?" Carlisle asked, Alice I would think. "Nothing, don't worry about it." Alice said. Then she, Esme, and Rose walked out of the room, and down the stairs. "That was weird." Emmett said. Carlisle hmmed. "I'll be in my office." He said, then walked out of the room as well. "Moving on, you up for some videogames?" Emmett asked Jasper. "Yeah, let's get Edward too." Jasper said. We played video games for awhile. At around ten I went up to my room to go to bed. It was Friday tomorrow, the best day of the week. I heard Esme, Rose, Alice, and Bella retuned soon after I went to bed. I heard Bella carrying bags up the stairs, then her door closed. I relaxed into my bed, oddly relieved that Bella was home. Maybe I shouldn't use the word home, not yet any way.

At around eleven, when I thought everyone was in bed, I went downstairs to the kitchen to fill my water bottle. The light was on, and I saw Carlisle and Esme talking. I came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. "I talked to Ms. Viola today. After you let for the mall." Carlisle said. "Oh. What did she say?" Esme asked, now worried. "Do you know how many foster homes Bella has been in?" Carlisle asked. "No." Esme answered. Carlisle sighed. "She has been in eighteen different foster homes. The longest one she was in was for a year, and the shortest was only two weeks." Carlisle explained. I almost dropped my water bottle. I figured that's about four different families a year, and the rest Bella was stuck at the foster building. I went back to my room. I tried to figure out why all these family's didn't adopt Bella. She really didn't seem bad, this new information, explained some things. Like why she is defensive all the time, or why she didn't let Alice get too close. I fell asleep some time after that, and all too soon I was awoken by my alarm clock. I groaned, and got up for another day of school. It's only the second week of senior year, and already I wish it was over. I'm already eighteen, and should have graduated last year, but because I moved from Chicago to Forks, I had to repeat my freshman year.

Both of my parent died three years ago, from some immune disease. They didn't know what hit them, until it was too late to help them. I watched them die, as gruesome as that sounds, but I couldn't bring myself to leave them. Especially when they needed me. After double checking to make sure Bella was not in the bathroom, I went in and took a shower. I was usually the first one up, aside from Carlisle who already left for work. I walked into the kitchen, and was surprised to see Bella sitting at the breakfast bar, eating a pop-tart. Not only did she have to invade the whole third floor, but now she had to invade my morning routine. I groaned a little, and walked to pour myself a cup of coffee. I wasn't surprised that she didn't make an attempt to acknowledge my presence. I took a sip of the coffee, and leant up against the counter. I watched Bella, curiously. She kept her head down, and her body was slightly turned towards the door as if she was ready to make a break for it if need be. She was very interesting to watch. A few minutes later Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rose walked in. Jasper, and Rose's parents are out of town, and they are staying here until they return. "Good morning." Alice said, cheerful as ever. "Ready for school?" Alice asked, Bella. I liked Bella's answer, she simply stood up, and walked out the door. I caught myself chuckling, as I followed her out. "Rose is riding with Emmett. Jasper, Bella, and I are riding with you." Alice told me. I nodded, and started towards my Volvo. My seventeenth birthday present from Carlisle and Esme. Bella got into the back silently. Alice sat next to her, and Jasper got the front.

The ride to school was silent, I debated whether or not to turn on the radio, but Alice didn't like the music I listened to, and I would rather not start my day with her bitching at me. We arrived at Forks High, and I pulled into the space next to Emmett's jeep. "I'll take Bella to the office to get her schedule. I'll see you guys later." Alice said, giving Jasper a kiss. Bella looked away from them, ether in disgust, or giving them privacy. I watched as Bella followed Alice to the main office. "I'm not gonna lie, she kind of scares me." Rose admitted. "Don't be like that, Rosie, she'll warm up to us." Emmett said, putting his arm around her. I couldn't help but notice that Emmett didn't really believe that himself. I saw Jessica Stanley beginning to walk up to me, and quickly walked towards building 2.

_Playlist: _

_Chaos- Mutemath_


	6. Jacob

Chapter 6: Jacob

**Bella POV**

I followed Alice to the main office. With all the signs, I think I would have been able to find it on my own. "Good morning, Ms. Cope." Alice greeted the secretary. "Alice, hello." the woman smiled. "This, is Bella Swan. She's new here, and needs her schedule." Alice said, looking at me. "Ah, yes, we've been expecting you." Ms. Cope said, raising the creepy level. She handed me some papers, and explained which one was which. I found my schedule, and began looking over it. Spanish, trigonometry, English, lunch, biology, and gym. Not bad, I guess I can live with it. I handed it to Alice, who looked like she was about to burst. "We have English, and gym together. Rose is in your trig class, Jasper and Emmett are in your Spanish class, and Emmett is also in our English. And you and Edward have biology together." Alice explained. Wow, she had everyone's schedule memorized. Alice showed me to my Spanish class, and I saw Emmett and Jasper already there. "Bella!" Emmett yelled, waving me over to him, there was an empty seat between him and Jasper.

Spanish went smoothly, Emmett kept cracking jokes under his breath, and they were oddly entertaining. Trig wasn't very fun, this girl Jessica Stanley, was giving this other girl Lauren a long list of all the good things about Edward Cullen. I tuned her out. Rose didn't make it any easier. Rose showed me where my English class was, I sat down next to Emmett, and Alice was on my other side. "We have a new student today, why don't you introduce yourself." Mr. Mason said, looking at me. I stood up, and took a breath. "My name is Bella." I said, then sat back down. The class started laughing. The class went by quick, English is my favorite subject. After the bell rang, I went to my locker to drop my books off. "You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" A voice said, next to me. I jumped a little, not realizing someone was there. I looked at the person, and had to look up even more to see his face. He was tall, very tall. He had black hair, and it was pulled back with an elastic band. His eyes were dark brown, almost black, and he was also very tan. I blinked at him.

"I'm Jacob. Jacob Black." He said. I starred at him, not remembering the face or name. "My dad, and your dad were best friends." He clarified. I hate the past tense. I remembered him then, Jake. Our dad's always went fishing on the weekends, and Charlie would take me down to La Push with him. That's where Jake comes in. He's a year younger then me, but the first time we hung out, I think I was about six, we became best friends. "Wow, you've changed." I said. He chuckled. "You don't look the same either, Bells, you lost all your baby fat." Jake smiled, a goofy grin I hadn't seen in years. "Yeah, and it found it's way to your ass." I said, playing along. He gasped. "My butt, is not that big." Jake said. I grabbed my lunch money, and shut my locker. "Lunch?" Jake asked. "Lunch." I nodded. The two of us fell into step with each other on our way to lunch. That seemed hard for him, seeing how one of his strides equaled three of mine. "How have you been, Bella?" Jake asked me, as we waited in the line. I shrugged. "Yeah, I figured." Jake said, sadly. "Where are you living now anyway?" He asked. "Foster care, with the Cullen's." I told him. "I know them. Nice family, although Alice kind of scares me." Jake said. I didn't say anything, it's not like I didn't agree with him, it was just that the first week they always seem nice, and yes Alice does come off as being a little scary.

Jake tried to pay for my lunch, but I told him I'm a big girl and can buy my own lunch. He said on Monday lunch was his treat. We stopped when we were out of the lunch line. I looked around for the Cullen's and found them at the table in the corner. They were staring at Jake and I, as was the whole cafeteria. "I think I have to sit with the Cullen's." I told Jake. "Sure, sure. I understand. I'll stop by your locker after school. Bye, Bells." Jake waved, and then walked in the opposite direction of the Cullen's. I sighed, and walked over to their table. Their eyes following me as I sat down. I went on like nothing happened, and took a bite of my pizza. "Who was that?" Alice asked me. "Jake." I said. "Jake?" She asked. I nodded. "And you just randomly decided to strike up a conversation with Jake?" Alice asked. "I know him." I shrugged. Why was this a big deal? "How do you know him? You've been here a day." Alice said. "I was born in Forks." I told them. "But…you…what?" Alice asked, confused. "I was born in Forks. I moved to Phoenix, Arizona when I was ten. I met Jake when I was six." I explained. Did Ms. Viola tell them this?

We were silent, until Emmett decided to break it. "Bella, how did your parents die?" He asked. Rose smacked him on the back of his head. "Way to be insensitive." She said. "Sorry." He told me. "Car crash." I answered. "Oh, I would hate to be in a car crash. That would suck." Emmett said. I didn't take offense to what he had just said, Emmett seemed like the guy that didn't think before he talked. "You have no idea." I said, taking another bite of my pizza. Before any of them, mainly Alice, had a chance to ask more questions, the bell rang. Alice volunteered Edward to walk me to biology, I liked the walk there, it was silent. Edward didn't seem like the guy that need to fill silence with constant talking. Maybe him and I will get along after all. When Edward and I arrived at Mr. Banner's classroom, Edward walked over and sat at the only table without another person at it. I pieced together in my head that him and I would be partners. I took a seat in the stool next to Edward, and waited for the class to start. When the bell rang, I saw Alice at the door waiting for me. Edward chuckled as he walked away. I sighed, and followed Alice to the gym. I was lucky, Coach Clapp said they had run out of uniforms, and I had to sit out for the day. That was fine by me.

I was at my locker getting the books I had homework in, when out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Jake walking up to me. He came up behind me, as if to scare me. "Jake, I know you're there." I said finally. "Damn it. How do you always know?" He asked, pouting slightly. "Cause you breathe incredibly heavy." I told him. He groaned, then smiled. "I will work on it." He said. I nodded. "Hey, do you think your watch dogs will let me give you a ride home?" Jake asked, nodding to something on the other side of me. I looked to where he nodded, Emmett, Alice, Rose, and Jasper were all watching us. "I'll ask." I said. "I'll wait right here." He said, leaning up against my locker. I walked over to them. "Is it okay if Jake gives me a ride to your house?" I asked. They all looked at each other. Alice sighed. "Do you even know how to get there?" She asked, looking at me incredulously. I nodded. "Fine. We'll see you there." Alice groaned, then stalked off to the door. "Later Bella." Emmett said, then followed. I walked back to Jake, and he smiled. "Let's go." He said.

_Playlist:_

_What It Takes- Aerosmith_


	7. Deserve

Chapter 7: Deserve

**Edward POV**

Lunch was an interesting event. Emmett, Jasper, Rose, and I were sitting at the usual table, and then Alice came in looking around nervously. She nearly ran to the table. "Have you seen Bella?" She asked, her voice higher then usual. "No why?" Emmett asked, taking a break from stuffing his face. "Oh, no reason." Alice said, sitting down. "You lost her? didn't you?" Emmett asked, sighing. "I went to her locker before lunch, and she wasn't there. It's not my fault." Alice mumbled. It was then that I noticed the cafeteria was unnaturally quiet. Then Alice's eye focused on something, or someone, and her mouth fell opened slightly. I turned around to see what she was looking at. Bella was standing there, with a tall man. I think his name is Jacob something. They were standing surprisingly close, considering how Bella acts around Alice. Bella was looking at us, and she said something to Jacob. He said something back, waved, and then walked in another direction. I watched as Bella walked up to our table, and sat down next to Emmett, and across from Alice. She took a bite of her pizza absentmindedly. "Who was that?" Alice asked her. Glancing towards the opposite side. "Jake." Bella said. "Jake?" She asked. Bella nodded. "And you just randomly decided to strike up a conversation with Jake?" Alice asked. "I know him." Bella shrugged, like it was no big deal. But to Alice, everything is a big deal. "How do you know him? You've been here a day." Alice said. "I was born in Forks." Bella told us. She was? "But…you…what?" Alice asked, confused. "I was born in Forks. I moved to Phoenix, Arizona when I was ten. I met Jake when I was six." Bella explained, it looked like she was thinking of something.

The bell rang then, before Alice gave her the interrogation, she did have time to volunteer me to take Bella to biology. It wasn't a big deal, we were both going to the same place anyway. The walk was silent, and I didn't mind. Half way to the class I realized Bella would have to be my lab partner. I did like not having a partner, I got my work done faster, and now this new girl is going to slow me down. I sighed, and took my seat. We took notes that day, and then the class was over. I saw Alice standing at the door, looking anxiously at Bella. I chuckled as I walked past her. When the final bell rang, I went to my car to wait for everyone else to be done. They were taking longer then usual. I was beginning to get frustrated. After what seemed like forever, they walked out, except they were one short. I watched a moment longer, and then saw Bella walking out with that Jacob kid. I didn't realize I was smiling, until Jasper gave me a strange look. I quickly made my face blank, and then pulled out of the parking lot. Alice whined all the way home about how Bella choose Jacob over her. She was acting like winning Bella's attention was some sort of major prize.

When we finally got home, I sat on the couch in the living room, and took out my trig book to start my homework. Alice's face was glued to the window waiting for Bella to get home. About ten minutes later, they got here. Much to Alice's dismay, they sat on the porch swing together. It's not like I was watching them, but I could see them over Alice's head. It looked like they were laughing. "What she's all giddy with him, and then with us she shuts down? I wish I could find that switch." Alice complained. "Lighten up, Alice, I would shut down if I were around you all day too." I told her, not looking up from my book. I saw that she stuck her tongue out at me. "Real mature." I said, shaking my head. "Oh, shut up, he's leaving now." Alice said. I rolled my eyes, and waited for the play by play. "They stood up, they are smiling at each other. Bella nodded, and now they are hugging…still hugging. Still, oops, no wait, they pulled away." Alice said. I heard Jacob's car pull out the driveway, and the front door open, and close. Then Bella went up the stairs, not saying a word. "She's tough to crack." Alice sighed, sitting on the chair. "She's not an egg, Alice." I told her, looking at her. "I know that." Alice said, rolling her eyes. "Give her time Alice. You remember how long it took Edward to open up to us." Emmett said. He had a point, I didn't tell them what happened until about two years ago, and even then I didn't tell them all of it.

Carlisle walked in, Friday's are the days he gets out early from the hospital. "Hey dad, did you know Bella was born right here in Forks?" Alice asked. I shook my head, he hadn't even taken off his coat, and already the questions were starting. Carlisle looked surprised. "Really?" He asked. Alice nodded. "Huh. I thought she was born in Arizona." Carlisle said. "What did that lady even tell you?" Alice asked. "Well, she said both Bella's parents died in a car accident four years ago, and ever since then Bella has been from foster home to foster home." Carlisle explained. My parents died at the same time too, it was a weird feeling. Not knowing what was happening. It wasn't until I heard the never ending beeps coming from the machines they were hooked up to that I knew what had just happened. I shook my head, trying to rid it of the memories. I put my book away, and went up to my room. I could hear music coming from Bella's room, but it wasn't loud enough for me to make out who it was. It was a soft melody, that much I could hear. I laid on my bed, and stood up at the ceiling.

**Bella POV**

Jake and I were sitting on the porch swing at the Cullen's. The ride here was good, it was comfortable. "I remember when you told Billy and Charlie I drank the blue stuff in the kitchen. And they were all freaking out, thinking I had drank the laundry detergent, but I drank the Gatorade my sister left on the counter." Jake said. I couldn't help but laugh. Our dad's went crazy, Jake's dad, Billy, called poison control, and my dad, Charlie, called the ambulance. "Then, in the middle of the mayhem, Rachel came in, asking who drank her Gatorade." I added to the story, causing us to laugh more. "I thought Billy was going to have a stroke." Jake said, after our laughter died down. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, and sighed. "You know Alice is watching us right now?" I asked. He glanced at the window, and then back to me. "Jeez, Bells, how do you pick up on these things?" He asked. I shrugged. "I guess I should get going. Billy's probably waiting for me." Jake said. We stood up. "I had fun, Jake. I hadn't realized how much I missed you until now." I said, smiling. Jake smiled too. "You need to come down to La Push, Billy will want to see. He's missed you too." Jake said. I nodded, and Jake pulled me in for another bone crushing hug. We pulled away after a moment. "Bye Jake." I waved as he walked to his car.

I walked inside, and saw Alice scrambled slightly, trying to get away from the window. Emmett, Jasper, and Rose were watching TV, and Edward was doing homework. I walked up to my room, and shut the door. I turned my stereo on, and Nickleback filled my room. The weekend passed by fast, I talked to Jake on the phone a couple times, I played the piano a little, and I even let Esme listen to me. Alice said she liked to, so I let her. Her expression was proud. Before I knew it, I woke up Monday morning and got ready for school. Today's September 13th, my eighteenth birthday. Most people think when they turn eighteen, it's some big mile stone in your life, to me, it's just another year without my parents. Carlisle and Esme were no where in sight when I went down stairs for breakfast, it didn't surprise me. Edward came down after me, this seemed to be a routine of ours. We all left for school like any other day, no one wished me a happy birthday, it didn't make me sad, or mad even. I wasn't expecting any wishes, or presents. I was at my locker, when Jake walked up next to me, his hands behind his back. "Happy birthday Bella." Jake smiled, bringing his hands around, revealing a cupcake with one candle. "You remembered?" I asked, surprised. "Me? God, no. Billy told me this morning. I'll gladly take the credit for remembering though." Jake said. I laughed, and took the cupcake. "Thanks, Jake, really." I smiled at him. "I'm glad you like it, I left a half an hour earlier to get to the store and buy it." He said, proudly. "Jake, you didn't have to do that." I told him. "I know, I know, but I wanted to Bells. You deserve it." He smiled, hugging me. That's the thing though, I didn't deserve it, I didn't deserve anything.

_Playlist:_

_Who's Going Home With You Tonight?- Trapt_

_If Everyone Cared- Nickleback_


	8. Missing

Chapter 8: Missing

**Edward POV**

Carlisle and Esme both told all of us to be at dinner tonight. I don't understand what is so special about this Monday night? Seems like another Monday to me. All of us were sitting at the table, silent. Emmett kept looking towards the kitchen, waiting for the food to come out. Alice was looking at Bella. Esme came out then, she was carrying a tray of her home cooked lasagna, Emmett clapped, and Esme smiled at Bella. Carlisle followed Esme, and he was carrying a wrapped up box, he too smiled at Bella. "Happy birthday, Bella." Carlisle and Esme said at the same time, and Carlisle handed her the box. Oh, that explained a lot. "It's your birthday? And you didn't tell me?" Alice practically yelled. Bella shrugged, staring at the present in her hands. "Oh, so that's why Jacob gave you that cup cake this morning. I thought that was a little strange, now it makes sense." Emmett said. "Jacob knew?" Alice asked. "Apparently." Emmett shrugged. "Who is Jacob?" Carlisle asked, in his over protective father voice. "Bella's boyfriend." Alice mumbled. It looked like Carlisle's eyes were about to fall out of his head. Bella sighed. "You'll have to excuse Alice, she's jealous of him. Jake's my best friend. Nothing more." Bella said. Carlisle looked relived. I held in my laugh, Emmett didn't even attempt to hold it in.

"Go on, Bella, open it." Esme urged. Bella stared down at the present, as if she were trying to see through it. She took a breath, took the bow off, and unwrapped the present. "A cell phone?" She asked. "Yeah, we thought you could use your own. A little bit more privacy." Carlisle said. "Oh, uh, thanks." Bella said, putting the phone down. We ate in more silence. I would say that it was awkward, but also oddly entertaining. After we had ate dinner, and done cake, it was about ten-thirty. Carlisle and Esme sent us all up to bed. A little early if you ask me, but I think Esme was a little upset about how Bella reacted to their gift. I helped clean up, trying to make Esme feel better. I'm not sure if it did anything, but it was worth the try. I headed towards the bathroom, and when I was passing Bella's room, I heard a soft thud. Her door was open, and I peeked in. I saw Bella with one leg out the window. "I did that once." I said leaning up against her door frame. She froze, and then looked at me. "Carlisle had the FBI on the phone within the hour." I told her. She continued staring, maybe to see if I was lying. That's the sad part, I wasn't lying. "It's not like anything is keeping me here." Bella finally said.

I stepped into her room a little, it didn't even look like anyone lived in here. I had to at least try and get her to stay. I mean, if Carlisle found out I knew she was running away, and I didn't try to stop her, I would be the one in trouble, and not her. "Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. But how do you think Esme will feel when she finds one of her daughters missing?" I asked her. She pondered it for a moment. "I'm no ones daughter." Bella said, then disappeared out the window. Cant say I didn't try. I walked out of her room, and went to the bathroom. I wasn't about to rat Bella out, I mean, she is eighteen, she can legally leave if she wants to. Besides, chances are she will be back. I would bet on it actually. I finished in the bathroom, and went back to my room, glancing in Bella's room. Still empty. I slept through the night for the most part pretty well. I couldn't help but shake the part of me that actually regretted not telling someone of Bella's late night escape. I woke up when my alarm clock sounded, and began my day. It was only a matter of time before someone realizes we are a teen short. Even better, today is Esme's day off. I took a quick shower, and then went down stairs for breakfast.

I ate cereal, and waited for the morning to unfold. Emmett and Alice came down right after each other. They got cereal, and sat down. Next came Jasper, and then finally Rose. "You ready?" I asked. Alice looked around. "I think we are missing one." She said. That was when Esme came rushing down the stairs, looking at everyone of our faces. I guess she found the empty room. "Where's Bella?" Esme asked, breathless. "Haven't seen her yet." Alice said, everyone else agreed. Esme looked at me. "Sorry, Esme, I haven't seen her since last night." I told her, well, it was the truth. "Alice call dad, tell him Bella's missing. Emmett call that Jacob kid she hangs out with." Esme ordered. Alice and Emmett both hurriedly pulled out their phones. "Told you she was trouble." Rose said. "Shut up Rose." Alice said, glaring at her. Jasper was looking pointedly at me, as if he knew somehow. He nodded to the living room, and I grudgedly got up and followed him. Jasper has been my best friend ever since I moved here. I'm the one that introduced him and Alice together, I sometimes regret that. Especially when I walk in on them making out on the porch. "What's up?" He asked me, almost in a whisper. "Nothing." I said trying to sound convincing. "Don't give me that bull, Edward, I know you well enough to know when you are lying." Jasper said. I groaned. "So, maybe I walked in on Bella climbing out her bedroom window. She's eighteen, it's her free will to go. Who am I to stop her?" I asked him. "That's not the point Edward. She's family, and whether you like it or not, you need to accept it." Jasper said, walking back to the kitchen. "I think you should tell Esme. You may not care about Bella, but she surely does." Jasper said, and disappeared into the kitchen. I sighed. I really did hate it when he was right.

"Esme, can I talk to you?" I asked as she walked by me. "Not now Edward." She said. "It's about Bella." I mumbled. Esme stopped, and turned to look at me. "What about Bella?" She asked, coming to stand in front of me. "Well, I saw her sneak out last night, after dinner." I told her. She looked betrayed almost, and hurt. "Did you try to stop her?" She asked me. "Yeah, well, kind of. I made an attempt, but she blew it off." I explained. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Esme asked, but then walked away, not giving me time to answer. I kicked the couch. Why didn't I tell her earlier? Was it because I didn't want to be a tattle tail, or because a part of me wanted Bella to leave? "Well, that was interesting." Alice's voice came from the door. "Of course you would listen." I said, glaring at her. "It's in my nature. Now, tell me, why didn't you stop Bella from leaving?" Alice asked. How many people are gonna ask me this? "If she wants to leave, Alice, we have to legally let her leave. She's a foster kid, Carlisle and Esme haven't adopted her yet. So technically, she is still an orphan. We cant do anything to keep her here, just like you cant do anything to get her to talk to you. Hard fact of life." I answered, probably more then what she wanted to hear.

"So are you saying we should just give up on her? Just forget, just like that-" Alice said, snapping her fingers. "No, Alice, what I'm saying is, you cant help someone, who doesn't want to be helped." I said. "Maybe, or maybe she is waiting to see who cares enough to help her." Alice said, then walked back to the kitchen. I sighed, and sat down on the couch. I guess we aren't going to school today. "What Jake say?" I heard Esme asked. "He said, he will gladly help look for her-" Emmett began, "I'm sure he will." Alice mumbled. "And then he said he will have some of his La Push friends look for her too." Emmett finished. "Dad's on his way home now." Alice said. They all fell silent. This was an uncomfortable silent, it was all sad, and dreadful.

_Playlist:_

_Missing- Evanescence_


	9. Runaway

Chapter 9: Runaway

**Bella POV**

It was when I was getting ready for bed, that I realized something. I'm eighteen. I don't have to be here right now. So why am I still here? I quickly emptied out my book bag, and packed it with as many clothes as I could fit. I grabbed the envelope of money that was in my suitcase, a part of me appreciated what the Cullen's were doing for me, but lets face it, I am better off alone. I opened my window, and dropped my bag outside. I looked down for a moment, and figured I could jump onto the window hangover, then use the tree to get the rest of the way down. Sounded good to me. I had just swung one of my legs over the ledge, when a velvet voice interrupted my concentration. "I did that once." Edward said. I froze for a moment, getting my balance back, and then turned to look at him. He was leaning up against the doorframe. "Carlisle had the FBI on the phone within the hour." He added. I continued to stare at him, trying to find a hint that he was lying, but from what I could see he was being truthful. "It's not like anything is keeping me here." I finally said.

Edward stepped into my room, and looked around a little. Its not like there was anything incriminating in my room, it hardly looked lived in. He looked like he was debating something. "Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. But how do you think Esme will feel when she finds one of her daughters missing?" Edward asked me. Of course he would use Esme as a pawn. She was an easy person to use, in a good way though, everyone likes her. Even I'm beginning to become a little attached to her. Another reason why I have to get out of here, before I get to far in. I wasn't going to let Edward talk me into staying, I knew what he was doing. Mind games, he must have learned it from being in the system. "I'm no ones daughter." I said, then jumped on to the over hang. I stayed unmoving for a moment, just to test if Edward was going to poke his head out the window. But he never came, instead I saw the bathroom light go on. I smiled to myself. I wiggled my way down the tree, being very careful, seeing how I didn't want to accidentally fall, and alert the whole house of what I was trying to do. The last tree limb was about five feet up, I sighed, and jumped. When I hit the ground, I fell, and rolled some. "Shit." I yelled. That hurt.

I stood up, slung my bag over my shoulder, and looked back at the house. It was dark, except for a few lights that were on. It looked peaceful. I sighed, and began running down the driveway. That's what I was now, an orphan. A runaway. I never thought runaway would be used to describe me. Isabella Swan, the girl who had a loving mom, an amazing dad, a relatively normal life, but in one moment, that was all taken away from me. Just one moment, that was all it took for my life to be turned upside down. I didn't exactly know where I was running to, I just continued running, or maybe, just maybe, I was running from something. Running from a family, running from being accepted for who I am, running from people who had the chance of loving me for me, even after all the mistakes, and all the things that happened in my life. How can someone love me when they don't even know me? That was when Mrs. Cullen, and Dr. Cullen's face flashed in front of my eyes. They only know what was said in my file, and yet the way they look at me is full with admiration and love. Alice wants to love me, I can see that, I'm just to stubborn, and cautious to let her in. Emmett, ask anyone with a brain and they will explain the way he looks at me. Like an older brother watching out for his sister, making sure guys don't get to close, just standing off to the side, waiting to come in if there was ever a time I need a bear hug, or for him to beat someone up.

I groaned, and came to sudden stop. I looked around, trying to find a sign of some sort that would let me know where the hell I was. When I saw a huge, familiar sign Forks Cemetery. It was dark, but the letters tore through me. Of course I would run here, not knowing where I was going. The main gate was locked, but there was a part of the fence that had a hole just big enough for me to squeeze through it. I would know, I've spent many hours here at one time. I found the hole, squeezed through, and made my way to the spot. I could find my way with my hands tied behind my back, and blindfold covering my eyes. I wasn't sure if I should be proud of that, or ashamed. I stopped when I had arrived. Renee Swan, and Charles Swan, their names stared up at me, almost as if they were judging me. It felt comical, in a weird sense, you would think that after someone dies, you don't think they care anymore. It's the opposite for me, actually, when my parents were alive, they didn't know the things I did, but now, it seems like they are always watching me. Knowing everything I do. I wonder if they know I ran away. People will think I've gone crazy if I tell them this, but sometimes I hear my parents voices. They don't tell me to murder anyone, it's more of I hear their voices when I am feeling lonely, and need some sort of comfort. They are always there.

I sat down, and stared at their tombstone. _People never know how special some one is until they leave, but sometimes its important to leave, so they are given the chance to see how special that someone really is, _was writing in perfect script below their names. I could recite it from memory if I wanted to. I lost track of the time as I sat there staring, when I remember something. I walked to the right, and stopped at the closest tree. I knelt down, and moved the rock that was leaning against the tree. A couple years ago I had carved out apart of the tree, sort of as my secret compartment, my secret stash. I looked into the compartment, what I was looking for reflected the moon light, and I wrapped my hand around it and took it out. Vodka. Not exactly my drink of choice, but it was the only thing in the house I was staying in that month. I walked back to the grave, and stayed standing up. I smelt the vodka, it stung my nose a little, but at the same time smelt good. I unscrewed the cap, and averting my gaze to the grave one last time. "Guess I let you down." I told it. I tipped the bottle to my lips, ready to take a swig, when four faces flashed in front of my face at the same time. My dad, my mom, Mrs. Cullen, and Dr. Cullen. They looked to be in happier times, because they were smiling, and laughing. I gasped, surprised, and the bottle slipped from my hand. It smashed into a bunch of little pieces as soon as it hit the ground, the vodka going everywhere. What a waste. I groaned, and laid down on the ground. The exhaustion from running soon took over, and I fell asleep.

"Bella? Wake up." Someone said, shaking my shoulder. I rolled onto my side, trying to escape the voice. "Don't be like that Bella, c'mon, get up." The voice said, shaking me again, this time a little harder. "Go away, Jacob." I groaned. "Sorry, Bells, I cant do that." Jake said. "Yes you can, and you will." I said, rolling back over, and shoving him. The sun was blinding, way too bright. I saw Jake's shadow stand up, and before I knew it, he lifted me off the ground, and placed me on my feet. I groaned, and opened my eyes to look at him. He looked relieved, and disappointed. "Do you have any idea how worried everyone is about you? Carlisle, Esme, Alice? _Everyone._" Jake told me, scolding. "How did you even find me?" I asked him. "We are a lot alike, Bella, when I'm angry, or sad, this is where I come." Jake said, nodding to a tombstone near by. I looked quickly and saw his mother's name, Sarah Black. I should have known. Then I noticed Jake's eyes look around on the ground, and they bugged out of his head. I followed his eyes, and saw the broken vodka bottle. Uh oh. "Did you drink that? All of it?" Jake asked, walking over to pick up the mouth part of the bottle, that still remained intact. "So what if I did?" I shrugged.

"Did you seriously just ask me that? How _stupid _can you get, Bella? Drinking, you are only eighteen. Hello! Wake up in there. You're smarter then that, I know you are." Jake said. "Stop, just stop. Why cant you just leave me _alone_?" I yelled. "Because, I care about you. Okay? You are my best friend, and I'm not gonna sit by, and watch you through your life away." Jake told me. "It's too late for me." I said. "What are you talking about? You have your whole life ahead of you. Stop being so dramatic." Jake said. I wasn't being dramatic. "You don't get it, no one gets it. You have no idea what it's like being a foster kid, what I saw, what happened to me. You don't get it." I said. "I'm taking you back to the Cullen's." Jake said. "No you aren't. you cant make me go back." I said, stepping backwards. "Don't be like that, Bella, just please, come with me, and I will take you home." Jake said, pleading. When are people going to understand? I don't have a home. "Look, either you come with me, or I will call the police. Isn't against the law to break into a graveyard, and drink under age?" Jake asked. "Do you have any idea, how much I hate you right now? I never want to see your face after this. Do you understand that?" I asked him, as I began to walk to the main entrance. "You don't mean that." Jake said, as he followed behind me. "Don't be so sure, you have no idea how long I can hold a grudge against someone." I said. "Oh yeah? How long have you had a grudge on someone?" Jake asked, acting like it was a joke. "Four years." I said no humor in my voice. Jake didn't say anything. Does a grudge count if you hold it against yourself?

_Playlist:_

_Runaway- Pink_


	10. Bottle

Chapter 10: Bottle

**Bella POV**

I found Jake's Rabbit in the parking lot, and walked up to it, waiting for him to catch up. He unlocked the doors, and the two of us got in. Before he started the car, he pulled out his cell phone, I groaned, already knowing who he was going to call. "Hi, Esme. It's Jacob." He said. I sighed. Esme. "Yeah, I found her…yes, Esme, she is fine. Still in one piece…of course. We are on our way right now…okay, see you soon." Jake said, and hung up. He smiled a little at me, so I turned away from him, and stared out the window. The ride back was over too quickly. It could have at least lasted longer, but it didn't. We pulled up to the house, and Jake cut the engine. I saw the curtains move. "Come on, Bells." Jake beckoned. I sighed, slung my bag over my shoulder, and walked with him up to the door. "Did I mention how much I hate you right now?" I asked him. Before he had a chance to answer, the door opened, revealing a pissed off, at the same time relieved Alice. "You are in deep shit." She told me, stepping aside, letting us in.

Jake and I walked in, and stopped. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Edward were in the living room. I glanced around looking for Dr. Cullen, or Mrs. Cullen, but didn't see them. "Mom. Dad." Alice called out. Oh. A moment later, both Dr. and Mrs. Cullen emerged from the kitchen. Mrs. Cullen gasped when she saw me, and Dr. Cullen looked more relieved then Alice. Jake had his hand wrapped around my arm and gave it a squeeze, it didn't hurt, if anything it seemed like he was trying to comfort me. I don't need comforting, I need to be left alone, why cant people see that? "Isabella, where were you?" Dr. Cullen asked, in a father like tone. He even called me Isabella, wow, he must be mad. I shrugged. Like I was going to tell him. No one ever called me Isabella, not even my parents, I was always Bella. "She was at the-" Jake began, but I elbowed him hard in the stomach. "Ow." He gasped. "Shut it, Jake." I hissed. I headed for the stairs. "Bella, where do you think you are going?" Dr. Cullen asked. "To the room." I said. It was real quiet then. "Don't worry, I wont jump out the window again." I clarified. Like I would be so stupid as to runaway in broad daylight.

When I got to the bedroom, I shut and locked the door, and threw my back pack at the wall. It landed with a crash on the floor. "Stupid Cullen's. Stupid Jacob. Stupid, stupid me." I groaned, as I started to pace around the room. I looked at the clock, it was only ten in the morning. I was gone for not even twelve hours, and everyone was acting like I was missing for months.

**Edward POV**

It was exactly nine-thirty when the phone rang. Esme jumped, then recovered and answered. "Hello?" She said, unsteady. "Oh, Jacob. It's you." Esme said, slightly disappointed. Alice rolled her eyes. "Did you find her? Did you find Bella?" Esme asked suddenly. "She is okay right? Nothing happened to her?" She asked, relieved but cautious at the same time. As if she were waiting for the bad news. She must have got her answer, cause she looked unbelievably relieved. "I cant thank you enough Jacob, really. You are bringing her home, right?" Esme asked. I wonder if she knew Bella didn't have to come back here. She was free to go. "See you when you get here. Goodbye Jake." Esme said, she hung up the phone, and smiled. "Well? What happened?" Alice asked. "Jacob found Bella. She is okay, and he is bringing her back here. I have to go and tell Carlisle." Esme said, then hurried into the kitchen.

"I wonder where she went." Emmett asked. "Or better yet, how the hell did Jacob find her? I mean, she could have been anywhere." Rose asked. Rose had a point, twelve hours is a long time to be on the run. For all we know, Bella could have gotten on a bus, and be on her way out of state. But no, Jacob miraculously found her, and saved the day. Bravo Jacob, I thought bitterly. I sighed, maybe Alice is right. Bella just needs to know someone cares enough for her to then trust them. If anything, I should be trying to help Bella more. I've been in the system, I know what it's like to have nothing, and then all of a sudden have a family that cares for you, given all your mistakes. It's a big step, a lot of getting used to. About twenty five minutes later, a car pulled in the driveway. Alice stood up and walked to the window. She looked outside, then back to us. "They are here." She announced, and then walked to answer the door. "You are in deep shit." Alice said. I heard Bella and Jacob enter. Emmett, Rose, and Jasper all stood up to walk to the foyer. I followed behind them. Bella stopped when she saw all of us. Then she looked around the house, I wonder what for. "Mom. Dad." Alice called out. Carlisle and Esme both emerged from the kitchen. Esme gasped, either out of relief or shock, when she saw Bella. Carlisle looked relieved I watched as Jacob wrapped a hand around Bella's arm, and squeeze. Thinking that he hurt her, something came over me causing me to step towards them, but when Bella didn't show any sign of pain, I stopped. "Isabella, where were you?" Carlisle asked, in his infamous father tone. Alice got that tone a lot, especially when she was home late with Jasper. Bella looked a little surprised, maybe because he used her full name. She shrugged, staying silent. "She was at the-" Jake answer, but Bella elbowed him in the stomach. "Ow." He gasped. "Shut it, Jake." Bella hissed. Then Bella made her way towards the stairs, she had just gotten to the first step. "Bella, where do you think you are going?" Dr. Cullen asked. "To the room." Bella answered. 'The room', was her way of saying 'my room'. For some reason she never admitted that the room was hers. No one said anything, barely even moved. "Don't worry, I wont jump out the window again." Bella reassured. I smiled, making a note to myself to ask her how she did get down from three floors up.

No one said anything still. Coming from, I think Bella's room, there was a bang and then a crash. It sounded like she threw something against the wall. "Jacob, where did you find her?" Carlisle asked. Jake looked torn. "I don't think Bella wants you guys to know. Actually, I know she doesn't want you to know, or else she wouldn't have elbowed me so hard." Jake said, rubbing his stomach. Emmett chuckled. "Please, Jacob?" Esme asked, pleadingly. Jake sighed, and then glanced up the stairs. "She was at the cemetery." He answered. "The cemetery? Why the hell would Bella be there?" Alice asked. "That's where her parents are buried." Jake said. "They are buried here? In Forks?" Alice questioned. Jake nodded. I thought they died in Arizona. "That wasn't all that I found." Jake admitted. "What do you mean?" Carlisle asked. Jake silently reached into his pocket, and pulled something out. He handed it to Carlisle. His eyes widened, in shock, and soon turned to disappointment. As Carlisle was showing what was in his hand to Esme, I caught a glimpse of it. It was part of a vodka bottle. Hmm, so Bella goes for the hard stuff, interesting. "Oh, dear." Esme muttered. "What? What is it?" Alice asked. "Of all people Alice, you probably don't want to know." I told her. Alice doesn't handle other peoples problems too well.

"Stop being such a smart ass, and tell me what it is." Alice groaned. "It's a vodka bottle." A voice said from the top of the stairs. "Bella?" Jake asked surprised. "What are you doing down here?" Alice asked, embarrassed. "Well, I figured since you guys were all talking about me, I may as well be there to enjoy all the gossip." She said, as she leaned over the railing. "Gossip? Is this gossip?" Carlisle asked, showing her the broken vodka bottle. "What's the point of telling you when you aren't going to believe me anyway?" Bella asked, scrutinizing Carlisle. "What makes you think I wont believe you?" Carlisle asked. "Foster parents, they're all the same." She said. "Don't you think you are judging a book by it's cover?" Esme asked. "No, I'm rejudging a book by it's cover." Bella said. What? "What the hell does that even mean?" Alice groaned, frustrated. "When you look at Dr. Cullen, and his wife, what do you see? On the cover, you see two great parents, with a family to match. You see the perfect couple, who love each other and their family unconditionally. Yeah, well, that's how they all look in the beginning. Then, they change, and orphan Isabella Swan is left at the front door of the foster building. For the third, eleventh, eighteenth time." Bella explained.

We were silent. Alice was staring opened mouth at Bella. And I had no idea what to say to all that. "But you know what? I'll stick around until you decide to get rid of me. Because my parents, would have absolutely loved you." Bella said, and then went back to her room.

_Playlist:I'm Still Breathing- Katy Perry_

_Someone That You're With- Nickleback_


	11. Friends

**Chapter 11: Friends**

**Bella POV**

Oh my god. I cant believe I just said all that. Seriously, what the hell possessed me to say that? Why couldn't I have just stayed in my room, and pretended like they were not down stairs having a meaningful conversation about me? I'm. Such an. Idiot. That's the only way to describe it, idiocy. I didn't fit into this family, I didn't fit in with any family. But I made a promise, I said I would stay here, until they decided they didn't want me. Only because of my mother's voice. When I was yelling at them, she told me to trust them, but I couldn't do that. I cant trust anyone, hard fact of life. People come, people go. I wasn't lying when I said my mom and dad would have loved the Cullen's. Charlie would have loved the fact that their fridge was always stocked, they had an amazing surround sound system for the big games, and he would have loved their kindness. Renee would have loved the fact that Esme is an interior designer, she would have loved to go with Alice and Rose on one of their many shopping excursions.

I groaned, and fell back onto the couch. Why did Jake have to figure it out and find me? Why couldn't I have been a smart runaway and have gotten on a bus right way? I could be in California by now, and no one would ever know. Stupid me.

Four Months Later…

It's Christmas break, and for some ungodly reason, Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen decided to go on a cruise to Hawaii. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Alice, Edward and I are going with them. I guess you could call it a family vacation with Bella. I sighed. I honestly don't know why I'm still around. It's not like I'm doing them any good, I'm just another mouth to feed. We had just gotten to the cruise ship, it was around midnight, and we went to our rooms. Rose, Alice, and I were sharing a room, Emmett, Edward, and Jasper sharing, and Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen had their own room. "This is going to be so much fun." Alice said, as we walked into our room. There were two beds, and a couch. "I call a bed." Rose and Alice said simultaneously. I shrugged, and put my stuff down on the couch. I prefer the couch anyway. Rose and Alice watched me silently, do they honestly think I don't realize. I collapsed onto the couch. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." I said. "Sorry." Alice said. "Do you talk other then to make wise ass remarks?" Rose asked. Alice gave her a look, Rose ignored her. "Maybe. If I feel like it. Why does it matter to you?" I asked back.

"Did you ever think that we actually want to be your friends?" Rose asked me. "Friends are a luxury I don't have." I told her. "What?" Alice asked. "Forget it." I said, shaking my head, and laying down. It's not so much that I don't have the luxury of friends, it's more that I pick the wrong friends.

I was the first to wake up. I stayed on the couch though, and waited for Alice and Rose to awake. A few minutes later, they did. "Is she asleep?" Rose asked. I think she was referring to me. "I don't know, maybe." Alice said, I pictured her shrugging. "What do you think happened to her?" Rose asked, in a voice barley a whisper. "What do you mean?" Alice asked. "Come on, Ali, you don't change over night. It takes time." Rose asked. "Rose, her parents died, I'm sure that changed her." Alice replied. "No, that's not it. Something else must have happened, something more scarring." Rose said, thoughtfully. Wow, who knew Rose could be so observant. The knock at the door ended their conversation. "Wake up you three, vacation starts today." Emmett said. "He's your boyfriend." Alice said. "And he's your brother." Rose retorted, then they both giggled. I rolled my eyes, and re woke up. "Good morning Bella. You ready to get breakfast?" Alice asked, smiling. "I guess." I answered, following Rose and her out the door. Emmett, Jasper, and Edward were all in the hall way waiting for us. "Where's mom and dad?" Alice asked. "Already getting breakfast. They told us to wait." Emmett said, sighing. Edward rolled his eyes at his brother. "I'm hungry." Emmett announced, like it was the end of the world. Emmett led the way to the breakfast bar.

I got a simple bagel with cream cheese, and sat at the table where Dr. Cullen, and Mrs. Cullen were sitting. They smiled warmly at me as I sat down. Soon enough, everyone was at the table. Emmett had two trays of food, wow, it's a good thing food here is free. "I tried to make him get less, but that was a loss cause." Alice said, shaking her head. "A man's gotta eat." Emmett shrugged. We were all silent, all of us eating. "Bella?" I turned my head in the direction my voice was called in. I saw a dark figure emerging from the hallway. "Zac?" I asked, as the person came into the sunlight. "Hey." He said, looking at me. Zac was my neighbor back in Phoenix. We may have had a thing, but I haven't seen him in four years. "Hi." I replied. "Talk about a random place to see you again." Zac pointed out, laughing. Very random. "Yeah, it is. Who are you here with?" I asked. "A group of friends. We decided to do something memorable our senior year. Ergo, cruise." Zac said, pointing to another table. I looked to where he pointed, and saw a group of people staring at me. I knew them. They were my friends four years ago. That was part of the reason why Zac and I broke up, because he didn't like the fact that I hung out with them. And now he is all buddy, buddy, lets go on a cruise together. What's up with that? "You're friends with them?" I asked him. "Yeah." He said. "That's real hypocritical of you, Zac, don't you think?" I asked incredulously.

He scowled at me, a signature Zac Conley move. "That was a long time ago, Bella, they've changed." Zac tried to tell me, but I bet I knew them better then he ever will. Someone at the table cleared their throat. Emmett. "How rude of you Bella. Not introducing me." Zac said. Too bad I was the only one who knew he was joking. Emmett looked like he was going to murder Zac. "Right. Everyone, this Zac. Zac, this is everyone." I said, lamely. "Right, cause now we are introduced." Zac laughed. "My name is Carlisle, this is my wife, Esme. These are our children, Alice, Emmett, Edward. And close friends, Rose, and Jasper. You already know Bella." Dr. Cullen introduced his family, pointing to them as he spoke their names. "How do you know Bella?" Alice asked. "Oh, Bella and I, we go way back." Zac smiled. I rolled my eyes. "Speaking of that, Bella you should come and sit with us." Zac offered, looking back at his friends. "No, thanks." I shook my head. "Bella, you should go. It's okay." Mrs. Cullen smiled. "No. I don't want to go." I said, emphasizing want. Her face went from warm, to confused in a second. Everyone looked confused. It's not my fault that I don't want to go and sit with them. "Zac! Get your ass over here!" I recognized the voice. It belonged to Brent Gammon, the arrogant jock. "I'm coming." Zac yelled over his shoulder. "I'll see you later Bella, are you going to the party tonight?" He asked. The ship is having this grand party for the cruise getting under way. I shrugged. "Okay, maybe I'll see you there. It was nice meeting you all." Zac smiled, then walked back to his table.

Playlist:

Let The Flames Begin- Paramore

Everybody's Changing- Keane


	12. Surprise

Chapter 12: Surprise

**Edward POV**

"How the hell long does it take girls to wake up?" Emmett groaned. Emmett, Jasper, and I were waiting outside the girls room on the cruise ship to go down to breakfast. Esme told us to be gentlemen and wait. "Emmett you just knocked on their door." Jasper told him. "That's not the point." Emmett retorted. Before Emmett could knock on the door again, the three of them walked out. Bella the last one. Alice looked around. "Where's mom and dad?" She asked. "Already getting breakfast. They told us to wait." Emmett said, sighing. I rolled my eyes at my brother. "I'm hungry." Emmett announced, like if he didn't eat he would die. Emmett led us to the breakfast bar. I watched Bella as she scanned the table filled with fruits, juices, anything relating to breakfast. I found myself doing that a lot lately. Watching her. Not at all in the creepy way. She intrigues me. Everything she does. I like to watch her when she plays the piano, sometimes she plays Clare de Lune, but for the most part she plays that dark melody. I like it more when she plays Debussey, she looks happy, at peace. When she plays the dark melody, she looks to be in pain. I don't understand it.

"You really should stop staring at her. One day she will catch you." Jasper said. "Shut up." I said, shoving him. He chuckled, and walked next to Alice. Bella grabbed a bagel, and had already found Carlisle and Esme sitting down. Emmett grabbed two trays of food. "Jeez, Em, leave some for other people." Alice scolded. Emmett waved her off, and headed for our table. We all sat down, and silently began eating. "I tried to make him get less, but that was a loss cause." Alice said, shaking her head, after Carlisle and Esme looked at him like he was crazy. "A man's gotta eat." Emmett shrugged. "Bella?" An unfamiliar voice called out. Bella looked towards the hallway of the ship, I looked also, I couldn't help myself. "Zac?" Bella asked, when the person came into the light So she knew this guy? This guy, Zac, walked up to our table, and stared at Bella. I didn't like the way he looked at her, it made me want to punch him. "Hey." He said. "Hi." Bella said back to him. "Talk about a random place to see you again." Zac said, then laughed. "Yeah, it is. Who are you here with?" Bella asked. "A group of friends. We decided to do something memorable our senior year. Ergo, cruise." Zac answered, and pointed to another table. I looked at the table he pointed at, and saw a group of people also staring at Bella. I looked at Zac, he had Arizona written all over him. Tan, blonde, tall. I wonder exactly how well Bella and he knew each other. Bella looked at the table, and quickly back to Zac. Interesting. "You're friends with _them_?" Bella asked him, I couldn't help but notice the disgust that dripped from her voice when she said them. "Yeah." Zac answered. Bella's eyebrows knitted together, she was concentrating. "That's real hypocritical of you, Zac, don't you think?" Bella asked him, irritated.

"That was a long time ago, Bella, they've changed." Zac answered, scowling at her. Bella looked like she was going to laugh, but didn't. Emmett being his childish self, cleared his throat. "How rude of you Bella. Not introducing me." Zac scolded her like she was child. Bella's expression didn't changed, and I was surprised. He did just insult her, did he not? "Right. Everyone, this is Zac. Zac, this is everyone." Bella said. I smiled at her lame introduction. It was just so Bella. "Right, cause now we are introduced." Zac laughed. "My name is Carlisle, this is my wife, Esme. These are our children, Alice, Emmett, Edward. And close friends, Rose and Jasper. You already know Bella." Carlisle introduced us, pointing to us. "How do you know Bella?" Alice asked. "Oh, Bella and I, we go way back." Zac said. I gritted my teeth. I was oddly happy that Bella rolled her eyes. "Speaking of that, Bella you should sit with us." Zac offered. My stomach dropped. If Bella agreed to go and sit with him, what did that mean? "No, thanks." Bella shook her head, and I felt relieved. "Bella, you should go. It's okay." Esme smiled. "No, I don't _want _to go." Bella said. I couldn't help but notice her emphasis on want. "Zac! Get your ass over here!" Another voice came from Zac's table. Bella sighed. "I'm coming." Zac called back. "I'll see you later Bella, are you going to the party tonight?" Zac asked her, his voice hopeful. I clenched my hand in a fist. Bella shrugged. "Okay, maybe I'll see you there. It was nice meeting you all." Zac smiled, then went back to his table.

Bella acted different after Zac left. Her face became blank, and she secluded herself from the table. I got a better look at the people that Zac came with. There were three guys and three girls. The three girls were all a cross between Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley. The guys looked like they were all jocks. I wondered why Zac had caused this kind of reaction out of Bella. More so, I want to know exactly how _well_ he and Bella knew each other. The rest of the day passed by, Bella didn't say much, and whenever she was asked a question either about Zac or the other people she would shrug, and not answer. The party got started, and everyone looked like they were having a good time. Bella was sitting down at a table by her self, engulfed in a book. Most people were dancing. I looked towards the bar for a moment, there wasn't a line. I sighed, and walked over to the bar tender. "What ever beer you have on draft." I told him. He nodded, and poured me a glass. I took it from him, and walked towards the back of the boat. The sun was setting. I leant up against the railing, and stared at the glass. A part of me was telling me to drink it, another part of me was saying it was a bad idea. "Interesting beverage." Bella's beautiful voice said from behind me. I turned around to face her.

"They aren't carding anyone." I shrugged. "Oh, I know." She said, walking beside me. I stared at her quizzically. "Not me, though. Everyone else is already drunk." She told me. I nodded. I liked staring at Bella in the sunset, I could see the red tints in her hair, and it made her chocolate brown eyes more amazing. Bella was already very beautiful, but here in the sun, was even more so. "I remember when I got drunk." Bella said, breaking the silence. I cant say I was surprised, I mean, Jacob did find her with a vodka bottle. "Oh yeah? What happened?" I asked, turned to face her. She sighed. "My parents died." Bella answered. She turned to face me then, staring intently at me. I didn't say anything, honestly, I didn't know what to say. Her eyes were sad, and her expression guilty.

I unconsciously brought my hand up, and laid it against her cheek. My hand felt like it was on fire. She looked surprised, but then, much to my delight, she leant against my hand, and her eyes fluttered shut. I took a step towards her, and our bodies touched. The fire seemed to engulf my whole body. Words couldn't even begin to describe how it felt. I didn't understand it, how could one person, make me feel all different things. I watched as Bella leant forward, I gently leant forward to meet her. Our lips touched, and suddenly it was like Bella and I were the only two people on the boat. The outside world didn't matter. I vaguely heard glass breaking, as I snaked my other around Bella's waist, pulling her closer to me. I could feel her hand grabbing fistfuls of my hair. Sure, I've been with other girls before this, but none of them were Bella. I was completely surprised when Bella pulled away from me, and took a couple steps back. "I cant." Bella whispered, before taking off in the direction of the party. What the hell just happened? I looked down at the ground, seeing the broken glass, something clicked. Why would Bella drink a perfectly good bottle of Vodka, and then smash the bottle. It doesn't make sense. Maybe, just maybe, she didn't drink the vodka, and everyone jumped to the very wrong conclusion.

_Playlist:_

_The Truth About Heaven- Armor For Sleep_


	13. Care

Chapter 13: Deserve

**Bella POV**

Zac and his friends being here, changed the whole dynamic of the cruise. Now, I had to worry about them. They aren't the best group of kids to be on a cruise ship unsupervised. The day came and went, and soon enough I was sitting at a table alone, reading a book I've read countless times before. I wasn't complaining, Wuthering Heights is a really good book. I took a break from the page I was enjoying, and looked around. Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen were smiling all gooey eyed at each other as they danced. Rose, and Alice were in the middle of the dance floor, laughing. Jasper, and Emmett were off to the side, watching out for their girlfriends, and talking. Zac was chatting it up with a blonde off to the side. And his friends were all raiding the bar. Of course they wouldn't be carding people. That wasn't what caught my attention. It was a flash of bronze that was walking in the direction of the back of the boat. Only one person I know has that odd, yet amazing, hair.

I stood up from the chair, and looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to me. Nope, good. I followed after Edward, strictly out of curiosity. At least, that's what I was telling myself. I found him leaning up against the railing, staring intently at the setting sun. The glass in his hand stood out. "Interesting beverage." I said, making my presence known. Edward froze for a moment, and then turned to face me. "They aren't carding anyone." Edward said, shrugging. "Oh, I know." I said, moving beside him. He looked at me. "Not me, though. Everyone else is already drunk." I cleared the air. It seemed he thought I was drinking. Edward looked like a god in the sunlight. It made his hair look more bronze, and his emerald green eyes sparkled. I found myself staring at him, and quickly looked away. "I remember when I got drunk." I said, trying to recover from staring at the Adonis next to me. For a moment, my thoughts went back to that day, I looked at Edward, and the memories faded. "Oh yeah? What happened?" He asked, then turned to face me. He was curious, you could tell by his face. I sighed, now just realizing that I opened a can of worms, I never wanted to open. I looked away from his gaze. "My parents died." I answered. I turned to face him once again, and looked into his eyes, waiting for some kind of reaction. His eyes widened for a moment, and then his face became soft as he looked at me.

I watched as Edward brought his hand up, and laid it softly on my cheek. A shock covered my cheek wherever his hand was touching. After I got over the fact that the protective walls I tried so hard to keep up, crashed down around me, I appreciated the way his hand felt. For the most part it was smooth, but they were also a little rough. Overall, it felt nice. I leant into his hand, and my eyes slowly closed. I was comfortable, for the first time in a while. I soon felt Edward's whole body touching mine. A fire ignited itself all over. I subconsciously leant forward, towards Edward, then, our lips touched. And the world around us disappeared. It was an amazing feeling, kissing Edward. It felt…right. I haven't kissed many guys, but now it seemed like they were doing it all wrong. I heard something shatter, but my mind was quickly distracted, when Edward's arm found it's way around my waist, and he pulled me closer. I grabbed some of his hair, it was smooth, and soft. Perfect. I wasn't sure exactly what happened, but something did, and it made me pull away. I stepped away from Edward. He looked surprised, and a little hurt. "I cant." I whispered, and then ran back to the party.

It seemed like no one was even aware of my absence. Everyone was having a good time, laughing, and dancing. I moved quickly back to the table with my book on it, and sat down. I tried to put my attention back towards Wuthering Heights, but all I could think about were Edward's lips, and how I felt being in his arms. I shook my head slightly, trying to get rid of the memory. I shouldn't be focused on that, no matter how amazing it was, it was wrong, a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. I know that now. "Bella, drink up." Brent said. I looked up, and Brent slid a drink over to me. "Bug off Brent." I told him, looking back at my book. "Come on, Bella, don't be like that." He slurred, moving the drink closer to me. "I said no, Brent." I told him again. "I think Bella wants you to leave." Emmett's gruff voice came from behind me. I turned around, and Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper were all there, staring down Brent. "If Bella drinks this teensy little drink, I'm gone." Brent slurred once again. "No, Brent, I said no." I said, my voice rising. Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen have moved their way over to our little show, and I saw Edward standing towards the back, trying to appear out of sight.

"Don't go and play the good girl now, Bella, you are way past that. Out of all us, you are the hardest partier I've ever seen."Brent explained. I heard gasps coming from behind me. I stood up. "I'm not that girl anymore." I said, gritting my teeth. How dare he say that, how dare he come over to me, and act like he still knows me. "Silly Bella. You will _always_ be that girl." Brent said, poking me in the shoulder. Brent's glazed over eyes, looked at the Cullen's all behind me. "Oops, was that supposed to be a secret?" He asked. I was trying to keep it that way. Ass hole. I glared at him, then walked past him hitting his shoulder with mine, he fell back, and I heard Emmett laughing. I walked to Rose, Alice, and my room, and laid down on the couch. Turning Wuthering Heights to the page where I left off on. A few minutes later, I heard both Rose and Alice calling my name. I sighed, and waited for them to walk into the room.

They both looked concerned. "Bella. There you are." Alice said, relieved. "Here I am." I said. They exchanged a confused look. "Please don't tell me you guys expected to find me red eyed, and tear stained." I groaned. "Well, yeah, we actually kind of did." Alice said, sitting down the bed facing me. Rose sat next to her, staring questioningly at me. "Don't hold your breath." I told them. "Why? I mean, Bella, what that guy said was pretty harsh. I would even be crying." Rose said. Alice nodded in agreement. And that is the difference between me, and them. "Don't mean to disappoint, but by now, I'm sure I'm all cried out." I said, shrugging. It was the truth, over these past four years, I've cried more times then I would like to admit. I'm done with crying. "What _happened_ to you?" Rose asked. "You probably don't even want to know." I said. It was more so that I didn't want them to know. I'm sure they are all just dying to know the mystery of Isabella Swan. "That's where you're wrong, you see, we do want to know." Alice said. "Ask Brent, I bet he is all but willing to open up." I said. "We don't want to hear from some drunk guy, we want to hear first hand. From you." Alice said, sincerely. "Then, I guess you will both be deaf for a while." I said, standing up and walking out the door.

I'll admit it, I did feel shitty for the way I was treating them. But why cant they understand that I don't want them to know? I don't deserve someone to care for me beyond a doubt, I just don't.

_Playlist:_

_All Around Me- Flyleaf_


	14. Silence

Chapter 14: Silence

**Edward POV**

I stood there, not moving. I rattled my brain, trying to find a reason that would make Bella run off like she did. The kiss was amazing, everything was going fine, and then, I don't know. I groaned, and stared down at the broken glass. What a waste of a perfectly good beer. I sighed. I continued staring at the glass, my thoughts traveled back to that night Jake brought Bella back, and showed Carlisle, and Esme the broken vodka bottle. That got me thinking. Why would Bella smash a perfectly good bottle of vodka and let the vodka just simply go to waste. I thought about it for a moment, then realized. She wouldn't. No sane person would ever, ever let good vodka go to waste. So, Bella was telling the truth when she said she didn't drink it, and everyone else jumped to the wrong conclusion. I sighed again. No wonder why Bella doesn't trust any of us. It's because we don't trust her.

I walked back to the party, seeing how there wasn't anything keeping me here. When I turned the corner, I saw Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice all standing behind Bella, who was talking to one of the guys I saw sitting at the table earlier. One of Zac's friends. I made my way over to them, and stood behind Carlisle. Between my family, I saw the glass of beer on the table, sitting in front of Bella. Zac's friend looked smashed. "Don't go and play the good girl now, Bella, you are way past that. Out of all us, you are the hardest partier I've ever seen."He explained. Did he just say what I think he said? Alice, and Esme both gasped. Yes, apparently he did. Oh. Bella stood up. "I'm not that girl anymore." She said. I couldn't see her face, as much as I wish I could, but in her voice sounded a mix between anger, and sadness. Interesting mix. "Silly Bella. You will _always_ be that girl." The guy said, as he poked Bella's shoulder. My jaw clenched, and my hand went into a fist. How dare he touch her. I watched as his eyes traveled over our faces. He looked surprised. "Oops, was that supposed to be a secret?" He asked. Bella didn't say anything, instead, she walked past him, hitting her shoulder with his. The drunk guy stumbled back and landed with a thud on his ass. I smiled.

We stood there, silently, all staring in the direction that Bella ran in. She seemed to be running off a lot lately. "I'll go find her." Alice said. "I'll help." Rose said. The two of them walked away. The guy continued sitting on the floor, looking around as if he was disoriented. "What's going on?" I recognized Zac as he walked over to us. "Nothing. You missed it all." Emmett answered. Zac scanned our little group. "Where's Bella?" He asked. "Ask him." Jasper said, nodding to the guy on the ground. Zac sighed, that was when I realized that he was sober, unlike his friend. "Did you say something to Bella, Brent?" Zac asked him, as if it were a natural occurrence. "No." Brent slurred, burped, and then completely passed out. "Not again." Zac muttered. Emmett laughed. Zac walked over to Brent, and bent down to pick him up. "Can I get some help? He's not light." Zac asked. I rolled my eyes, and watched Emmett and Jasper go over and help. "Edward, don't just stand there." Emmett told me. I groaned, and grabbed one of Brent's legs, and Jasper grabbed the other. Emmett and Zac grabbed one of his arms. "His room is this way." Zac told us, as we followed him down the hallway.

We were walking by Bella, Rose, and Alice's room, and I was able to hear part of their conversation. "That's where you're wrong, you see, we do want to know." Alice said. "Ask Brent, I bet he is all but willing to open up." Bella said, bitterly. I stared down at the passed out Brent, maybe they had a bigger history then I thought. Just thinking about that, sent a shiver up my spine. It was the same feeling I had when I saw Zac talking to Bella. Hmm, maybe I could ask Jasper, he would know. And asking him would be way better then asking Emmett. I looked at Jasper, who was looking at me with an eyebrow raised, I glared at him, and he looked away chuckling. I never understood that about Jasper, he seemed to always know what I was feeling. Kind of like how I can read people really well, except Bella. I cant read her. Maybe that's what is so intriguing about her. "Here's his room." Zac said, turning into a room on the left. We placed Brent on the bed, and Zac sighed. "What exactly did he say?" He asked, sitting on the couch. "I think you should ask Bella that." Jasper said. "She wouldn't answer me." He snorted. "Why? Bad break up?" Emmett asked. My fist involuntarily clenched. "You could say that." Zac nodded. "How do you mean?" I was surprised by that fact that I asked that question.

"It's a long story." He told us. "It's a long cruise." I retorted. "Well, the truth is, Bella and I were neighbors back in Phoenix. We went out, well if you could call it that, I mean we were only thirteen. I liked her, I knew that much. Anyway, she was friends with the 'outsiders' so to speak. We argued a lot, about her being friends with them, because I didn't like them, I thought they were a bad influence. But, you know Bella, she doesn't take to kindly to being ordered around. Then, we broke up, and she just went deeper and deeper in. Until I completely lost her." Zac explained. How could he lose her when they were hardly even going out? "And who are the 'outsiders' Bella hung out with?" Jasper asked. "Brent, and the other people from that table." Zac answered. "So, let me get this straight. You and Bella fought because the people she hung out with were a bad influence on her. Now you are on a cruise with those same bad influencial people, I give you exhibit A." Jasper asked, pointing to Brent, passed out on the couch, when he said exhibit A. "I know, it's sounds bad. But when Bella went into foster care, I started to get to know them, and they aren't so bad. Well, most of the time." He said, glancing at Brent. "We should get back, Mom and Dad are probably wondering what happened to us." Emmett said, after a minute of silence. I followed Emmett and Jasper back to the table where we were eating breakfast. Rose, Alice, and Bella were all there.

The rest of breakfast was silent. It was a very uncomfortable silence, that I just wanted to end.

_Playlist:_

_Miss. Murder- A.F.I._


	15. Who

Chapter 15: Who

**Bella POV**

"So, is he single?" Julie asked me. Julie is part of the group that came with Zac on the cruise, she is also one of my friends from when I lived in Phoenix. It was the fifth day of the cruise. Ever since Julie laid eyes on Edward, she's been bugging me constantly for information about him. It's safe to say, I am hating the fact that all of them are on this cruise. "Is who?" I asked, playing dumb, not taking my eyes off of the book I was reading. Though, the book was quickly ripped from my hands. "Don't be stupid Bella, you know who I am talking about." Julie said, glaring at me, as she sat on my book. I rolled my eyes. "Real mature, Julie." I told her. I glanced over at Edward, he was talking with Jasper and Emmett. "I don't know, here's an idea, why don't you get off your ass and ask him yourself." I said. "There's no fun in that." She sighed. "Can I have my book back?" I asked, holding out my hand. "No." She said. I groaned. "Julie, give me my damn book back." I said, standing up. "You know, your book is actually very comfortable." She said. I took a step towards her, when a voice stopped me. "Julie, give it back." I looked over her shoulder, and Zac standing behind her, his arms crossed over his chest. "Fine." Julie sighed, and she threw the book back to me. "You two are boring me, I'll go bother Brent." She said, then stood up and walked away.

Zac sat down in the chair she was, and looked at me. "I'm still mad at you." I told him, causing him to sigh. "How many times do I have to say sorry?" He asked. "You cant apologize for being a hypocrite." I said. "Yeah, but it doesn't hurt to try." He said, looking at me through his lashes. I rolled my eyes, and turned my attention back to my book. "Come on, Bella, don't be like that. I really am sorry. If you want I'll gladly get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness." He said, standing up, and actually kneeling in front of me. A red blush found its way to my face, does he have idea how _wrong_ this looks? "Are you completely insane?" I asked. "The last time I checked, I wasn't. Why?" He asked, cocking his head to side, not making any attempt to stand up. "Look around Zac." I told him. His eyes looked around us, everyone with usable eyes were looking at us like we were insane. I could just imagine the thoughts running through their minds. Proposal. Zac's mouth formed an o. I caught a glimpse of Jasper and Emmett, they were both glaring at Zac. And Edward was looking at me with an unreadable emotion etching his face. Alice and Rose were sitting at a table, mouths agape, also staring. Esme and Carlisle were sitting next to them, with the same expression. "Don't just sit there. Get up." I told him. He stumbled onto his feet, and went back to his chair.

"Zac and Bella sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g…" Brent sang as he walked by us. "Idiot." Zac muttered. "Hey, now, he's your friend." I said pointedly. "Don't remind me." Zac said, smiling jokingly. "Bella, do you ever wonder what would have become of us if you weren't friends with Brent and his gang?" He asked me, all jokes gone. The question caught me by surprise, I certainly wasn't expecting it. "Zac, we were thirteen." I said, sighing. "Yeah, I know. Don't you ever wonder what would have happened?" He asked, leaning forward. "Not to be a bitch or anything, but I honestly think we would have broken up before high school even started, and then we would never have talked to each other ever again." I said, truthfully. "Wow, Bella, you sure know how to break a guys heart." He said. "Alright, fine. What do you think would have happened?" I asked him, taking the focus off of me. "Honestly, I think we could have made it." He admitted, as his blue eyes bore into mine. "We were both naïve and stupid, we couldn't possibly have known what love was." I explained. "Isn't it worth trying to find?" He asked. Why was he doing this? "Actually, I don't even believe in love. Not the whole head over heels, cant live without you, going weak in the knees. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure I ever did." I shrugged. Zac raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe that." He concluded. "What makes you so sure?" I asked. "I know you Bella, as much as you hate to admit it, I do. For one, you are totally hooked on any romance novel, and I have seen your bookcase. So you cannot sit there, with a romance novel in your hands, and tell me you don't believe in love." Zac explained, pointing to _Wuthering Heights_.

I scowled at him. "This, isn't love. These are just words written on a piece of paper. They don't mean anything, some love sick sap wrote them to feel good about her life. And to try and make people believe there is a happy ever after, and riding off into the sunset. Please. Your prince charming turns out to be a loser in aluminum foil, and the beautiful sunset are just head lights off a car." I said, holding the book up. Zac sighed, frustrated. "You are so stubborn." He pointed out. I shrugged, I happened to like the way I am. Wait, what am I saying, I hate who I am.

_Playlist:_

_Love Story- Taylor Swift_


	16. Dinner

**Chapter 16: Dinner**

**Edward POV**

The cruise ended, and everything went back to normal. Well, not exactly, every time I closed my eyes I would remember what it felt like to have Bella in my arms. The way she smelt, the way she felt, the way her lips melted into mine. I think Isabella Swan will be the death of me. Forget that, she _will___be the death of me. I sighed, and laid back on the couch in the living room. It was the Monday after vacation, Bella wasn't feeling well so she didn't go to school, and I skipped out on my last two periods. It wasn't like I was missing anything. We were going to do a lab about extracting the DNA from a strawberry. We weren't doing anything in Spanish because Mrs. Goff wasn't there. I don't think Bella got over the whole cruise, and all of her old Phoenix friend's being there. I cant blame her though, if my friends from Chicago showed up, I would be a little weirded out too. Well, I didn't have many friends back in Chicago, I wasn't very popular. People thought I was up tight because my family was well off, but I wasn't, at all. It was just that people didn't get the chance to know me. My stomach rumbled, and I realized I hadn't eaten lunch. I decided to skip lunch cause I didn't want to have to deal with sitting with my family and them reminiscing about the cruise. I didn't need that.

I stood up from the couch, and made my way towards the kitchen. I opened up the fridge and grabbed a piece of the leftover pizza. I sat down on the breakfast bar. A piece of paper on the ground caught my attention. I figured it was just part of the newspaper that fell out after Carlisle finished reading it this morning. I bent down to pick it up, but I realized it was way to discolored to be from today. I glanced at the date, November 6, 2004. **Parents Perish in Crash. Daughter Survives. **Was written across the top of the front page of the Phoenix New Times. I stared at the paper, reading and rereading the title. Wait, so Bella was _in _the car?

_Tonight, on the way home from a family dinner, Charles Swan, his wife Renee, and their fourteen year old daughter Isabella were in a head on collision. On Main Street, at nine twenty-five a drunk driver veered into the Swan's driving lane. The Swan's were not left with any time to try and avoid the inevitable, deadly crash. A car passing by stopped, and called an ambulance immediately. After using the jaws of life to free the Swan family, Charles Swan, unfortunately, was pronounced dead at the scene. Renee Swan, shortly arriving at the hospital, was operated on. After a little over an hour of trying to stop internal bleeding, she too was pronounced dead. Isabella, due to extensive injuries was put into a medically induced coma. Isabella suffered head trauma, two broken ribs, and a broken leg. We have yet to hear any word on whether she pulled through…_

I stopped reading, not being able to bare hearing anymore. I don't know how long I stood there for, unmoving. I could vaguely hear a car pulling into the driveway, and someone entering the house. "Oh, Edward, you're home. I didn't expect you here." Esme said, walking into the kitchen. I quickly put the newspaper clipping into my pocket, and turned to face her. I would bet my life on it that Bella didn't want anyone finding this, and that she doesn't want people knowing that she was in the car with her parents. "Yeah, I didn't feel well, so they let me go home." I lied easily. "Hmm, I wonder if you have what Bella has. How does she feel? Have you seen her?" Esme asked me, concern etching her usually peaceful face. I wonder if Bella is aware of that fact that Esme completely adores her. "No, sorry. I got home about an hour ago, and she has been in her room the whole time." I shrugged. Esme frowned slightly, and walked into the kitchen.

The rest of the day passed without any interesting thing. Bella didn't come out of her room, Alice was suspicious about me being home early. Emmett made some disturbing innuendo's when it was just me and him in the room. Jasper seemed to be the only one that either knew that nothing happened, or didn't care enough to make a point to mention it. And if anyone of them could get answers out of me, it would be Jasper. He can read peoples emotions real well. I went out to the patio that was outside the sliding door off of my room. I stood there for a moment, staring at the stars. "Nice night, eh?" A voice next to me in the darkness said. I didn't have to look to know who it was, I'd recognize that voice any where. Bella. I looked into the darkness, and saw the shadow of Bella's figure leaning up against the banister. "I suppose." I said, shrugging, but I don't think she could see. The motion sensors of my patio light kicked in, and the patio became illuminated. I could see Bella now, she had the blanket from her bed wrapped around her body. Her doe like eyes, got used to the sudden light. She blinked a few times, then looked at me.

I couldn't help but see her differently now, after having read the paper clipping. She looked more innocent, vulnerable. "What?" She asked, as if she were self conscious. "Nothing." I sighed, looking away. The newspaper felt like it weighed a ton. I took a breath, and reached into my pocket, planning on giving it to her. "Nice bracelet." She said, stopping my hand. I looked down at my left hand, and the sweat band that wrapped around my wrist. I grimaced. "What's it say on it?" Bella asked, curiously. I looked at the inscription. "Vito quod nex." I answered. She arched an eyebrow. "Can I see it?" She asked, her voice more curious. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I took off the sweat band and handed it to her. She ran her fingers over the inscription. I was waiting for her to ask me what it said, but she didn't. She smiled a little. "Life and death." Bella whispered. "You know Latin?" I asked, shocked. "Yeah, my mother had this thing where every month she would choose a different hobby. Latin was August 2004. She made me go with her to one of her classes, turns out, I went with her for the whole month." Bella said, handing me back the band. There was sadness in her eyes, and I realized that was only two months before her parents died.

Bella became silent. I followed her eyes, and saw she was staring at the scars on my wrist. Shit. "Those are from a while ago." I said, as if that were to make it better. "They're vertical. You wanted to die." She announced. I looked at the two vertical scars on my wrist. I was actually surprised that Bella knew that, not many people do. "How do you know so much?" I asked her, not being able to contain my curiosity. Bella sighed, then rolled her left arm sleeve up. Three vertical scars jumped out. "We all have our secrets Edward. Sometime, it's just a matter of how well you keep them." She whispered, the quickly rolled her sleeve down, and walked towards the sliding doors that led to the office on the third floor. The office was next to my room, and across from Bella's. I froze. I didn't know what to think. I heard the slider open. I heard Bella take a breath, as if she were going to say something, but she sighed instead, then disappeared through the door. What others secrets are behind those brown eyes?

_Playlist:_

_First Time- Lifehouse_


	17. Secrets

Chapter 17: Secrets

**Bella POV**

Monday morning, before everyone left for school, I told Mrs. Cullen, that I did not feel well. I guess I'm a better liar than I thought, because she believed me, and let me not go to school. I went back to bed after everyone left for school, and I didn't wake up again until around 12. I grabbed _The Merchant Of Venice, _from my bookshelf, and went downstairs to the kitchen for something to eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, and sat at the breakfast bar, opening my book. Out of the few books I have, _The Merchant Of Venice_ is by far my favorite. My parents gave it to me on my fourteenth birthday. I had finished the cereal, and headed back up stairs.

I had just gotten to the top of the third floor, when I realized the newspaper clipping from the accident had fallen out of the back of my book. I sighed, and walked back to the kitchen. I was just about to enter, when I saw Edward standing there, the newspaper I was looking for in his hands. Oh shit. When the hell did he even get here? Crap, I'm such an idiot. I watched as Edward's eyes moved along the page, reading it, seeing it, _knowing_ it. Now he was probably going to tell _everyone_. I had lost count of how many times I stayed up, reading and rereading the article. I mean, the least they could have done was get the facts right. But no, they screwed that up. The part about dinner was half right. My parents were at dinner, but I was no where near the restaurant. It was my mom and dad's fourteenth wedding anniversary. I was across town at Brent's house. I honestly didn't know I was going to go to Brent's house that night. The plan was for me to spend that night at Julies house. But then Brent's older brother, Henry, pulled into Julie's parking lot, driving us to Brent's house. Julie had the biggest crush on Henry, and I'm sure if he told her to jump off a bridge she would have.

I heard someone come into the house. Then I could see half of Esme's body, because the other half was being blocked by a wall. I waited for Edward to give the newspaper to Esme, to show her. But he didn't, instead he stuffed it in his left jean pocket. "Oh, Edward, you're home. I didn't expect you here." Esme said. "Yeah, I didn't feel well, so they let me go home." Edward said, his voice was strong, trusting, but his eyes were lying. "Hmm, I wonder if you have what Bella has. How does she feel? Have you seen her?" Esme asked him, from what I could see of her face, she was genuinely concerned. Edward's eyes looked sad for a moment, then his face went blank, expressionless. "No, sorry. I got home about an hour ago, and she has been in her room the whole time." Edward shrugged. That time he was being truthful, well for all he knew it was the truth. Before I was going to be seen, I quietly ran up the stairs, and back into the safety of the room.

I heard the others arrive getting back from school. I didn't shut the door, and apparently Alice took that a sign to come on in. She came in and then sat right down on the couch. Practically like she owned the place. Well, she kind of did, but technically her parents own the place. Rose followed her, but she just leant up again the doorway. Either out of fear, or respect for not entering without permission. "School was horrible today." Alice complained. "Her and Jasper were bagged having a make out session in the janitors closet." Rose translated. I almost laughed, but it got caught in my throat. "I personally think she should have chosen a place less obvious. Like the storage room next to the bathroom, _no one_ goes in there." Rose said. Rose looked at me, as if she were asking permission, I shrugged. And she sat next to Alice on the couch. It is, after all, a free country. "Jake asked where you were today. So did Mike Newton." Alice shuddered. I rolled my eyes, Mike just cant seem to take a hint. "They also piled us with homework. They called it a welcome back gift. In English we have to read _The Merchant of Venice, _I havent even heard of that book, seriously. Emmett said you have to translate a paragraph, the teach will give it to you tomorrow, but if you want extra credit you can have Em give it to you so you can hand it in on time. I don't know what you missed in bio, seeing how Edward went home early. In trig, you have a chapter test tomorrow." Alice said in one breath. I wonder how she does that.

I reached next to me picking up my copy of _The Merchant of Venice_, and I tossed it to Alice. "You can borrow mine." I shrugged. "But, don't you need it?" Alice asked. "I practically have the thing memorized, I think I can manage." I told her. The two of them stared at the book as if I had just handed them a beating heart. "Seriously guys, it's just a book. It's not like it's a disease." I said, shaking my head at them. "Sorry." They said at the same time, and looked away. "Oh, right. Mom wants to know how you are feeling." Alice said. She does realize that Mrs. Cullen is not my mother? And yet she still refers to her as if she were. "I'm fine." I said, looking out my window. "She also wants to know if you are going to be joining us for dinner?" Alice asked. "Tell her I'm not very hungry." I told them. Alice nodded. The two of them got up, and Rose was the first one out. "Bella?" Alice called from the doorway. I turned to look at her. "Thanks for the book." She smiled, then walked out. "You're welcome." I said into the silence.

After the sun had set, and the moon and stars were visible. I grabbed the blanket off my bed, and went out onto the patio I had found earlier today. I got to it through the office across from me, and I'm pretty sure the other sliding door led to Edward's room. I sighed. He was in there, with the worst night of my life spewed across the page. About twenty minutes later, his slider door opened, and I saw his shadow step outside. He was just standing there, staring at the stars. He hadn't seen me, so I figured I would let him know I was here. "Nice night, eh?" I said, breaking the silent. I could make out his head moving in my direction, but that was it. "I suppose." He replied. Then, the patio lights came on, illuminating the space. I could feel Edward looking at me, but I didn't look back. I was still trying to get used to the sudden light. I blinked, and then looked at him. He was wearing loose fitting pajamas pants, that sat low on his hips. He had on a black sweat shirt that made his emerald eyes pop, stand out against the dark night. He continued to stare at me, almost like he was seeing me for the first time. "What?" I asked, as my cheeks started to blush under his gaze. "Nothing." He said, looking away. I heard him take a breath, and I saw his hand reach into his pocket. I wasn't ready for him to give the paper back to me, and it would just make this moment more awkward then it already was and I didn't want the. "Nice bracelet." I said, distracting him. It worked cause his left hand stopped. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him grimace. "What it's say on it?" I asked, trying to read the sewing. "Vito quod nex." He answered. I arched an eyebrow at him. I have heard that before. "Can I see it?" I asked. Much to my surprise he slid the band off his wrist and handed it to me. My fingers traced the letters. I smiled a little. "Life and death." I whispered. Edward heard me, cause he looked at me surprised and curious, maybe even proud. "You know Latin?" He asked. "Yeah, my mother had this thing where every month she would choose a different hobby. Latin was August 2004. She made me go with her to one of her classes, turned out, I went with her for the whole month." I said, handing him back the sweat band. Did I really just say all that?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something off about Edward's left wrist. I realized what it was. "Those are from a while ago." Edward informed me, after realizing what I just saw. It sounded like he was justifying them. "They're vertical. You wanted to die." I said, without thinking it out thoroughly. Edward looked at them, then back to me. "How do you know so much?" He asked me. Yeah, I set myself up on that one. I sighed, and rolled up the sleeve to my left wrist as well. His eyes widened as he saw them. He only had two cut on his wrist. I had three. You could tell by looking at Edward's that they were indeed, quite old. Mine, well, they aren't that old. "We all have our secrets, Edward. Sometimes, it's just a matter of how well you keep them." I whispered, and quickly covered up the three secrets that weren't secrets anymore. I walked back to the slider that led to the office. I was afraid of what might have happened between us, if I stayed. I opened the slider, and took a breath. I was about to tell him not to tell anyone. But did it even matter anymore?

_Playlist:_

_Angels On The Moon- Thriving Ivory_


	18. News

**Hey everybody. Just wanted to see how you all are doing, hoping you like the story thus far. Thanks again for all your support, it means a lot to me. Also I've written another story entitled _Can't Go Back._ Be sure to check it out :).  
****Thanks again ~LBV**

Chapter 18: News

It was around midnight when I heard something being slid under my door. I got up off the bed, and turned my lamp on. There was a piece of paper on the floor. I picked it up, and a note fell out.

_Bella,_

_I found this in the kitchen earlier today. I'm sorry about your parents Bella. I really am. Don't worry, this secret will stay between us._

_Edward._

I stared at the note. And for some reason my heart beat faster when Edward said us. As much as I hated the fact that it made my heart react that way, I also loved it. I picked up the paper, and tucked it under my pillow. Not the most original place to hide it, but I'll work on it tomorrow. I woke up the next morning early so I could take a shower. I was a little late getting down stairs, seeing how everyone was already there. Emmett, Jasper were both eating breakfast. Rose, and Alice were off to the side engrossed in their own conversation. Edward was sitting down, doing not much of anything. They all looked up at me when I entered. "Morning Bells." Emmett smiled. "Hi." I said. They went back to their own thing, except Edward, he continued to stare. I smiled at him, silently thanking him. He nodded, and looked away. But I saw his cheek rise as if he was smiling too. "Let's get to school." Alice announced heading to the door. We all followed behind her, as if she were our leader. I chuckled at the thought.

We arrived at school and were about to go our separate ways to first period. When I remember something. "Hey, Alice?" I called after her. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Edward, and Alice all turned to look at me. As if I were about to make some important speech. "Remember, either storage room, or you could always try locking the door." I said. Emmett, Edward, and Rose all laughed. Jasper and Alice looked beyond embarrassed. I smiled to myself as I walked to Spanish.

**Edward POV**

After Bella left me frozen on the patio, I pulled myself together, and went to bed. The only problem was the fact that the newspaper was staring at me. I groaned, and got up. I wrote a note to her, and then slid the two pieces of paper under her door. I waited until I saw the light go on in her room, and then retreated back to mine. I dreamt of Bella that night. More so I dreamt of the night her parents died. It was weird dream, it felt like I as watching it happen, off to the side, but there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. My dream ended with Bella not waking up from the coma. I found myself waking up, breathing heavy, and sweating. I couldn't fall back asleep after that. I got up at around six and took a shower, and then went down into the kitchen for breakfast. Everyone had already come down within the hour. Jasper and Emmett were eating cereal, Alice and Rose were planning their next shopping trip to Seattle. And I was sitting down, wrapped in my own thoughts.

I then heard Bella walking down the stairs, and entering the kitchen. Everyone looked at her. "Morning Bells." Emmett greeted her, smiling. "Hi." She said back. They all went back to their own things, but I couldn't bring myself to look away from her. She smiled at me, and I could tell she was thanking me. I nodded, and looked away. But I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my lips. The little things made her smile, I'll definitely remember that. We left shortly after that, and had arrived at school. We were going our separate ways, I had argued with myself the whole ride her, whether or not to ask Bella if I could walk her to class. But I decided against it. "Hey, Alice?" Bella called out. We turned around to look at her, usually she isn't one to draw attention to herself, but her she was yelling half way across the parking lot. "Remember, either storage room, or you could always try locking the door." Bella said, completely serious. Emmett, Rose and I started laughing. Only Alice and Jasper would get caught making out. Ali, and Jasper couldn't hide their embarrassment.

The morning dragged on, and soon enough I was sitting at lunch with, Em, Rose, Alice, and Jasper. Bella hadn't arrived yet. "Now that she starts talking she insults me. That's just not right." Alice sighed, causing Jasper to put his arm around her. I rolled my eyes. "For someone very smart, you can be incredibly stupid sometimes." I told her. "What are you talking about?" She glared. "Bella wasn't insulting you. She was pulling your leg, you know, what _siblings_ do. Like when you tell Emmett he eats to much, he will then make some sort of sexual innuendo about you and Jasper. Bella was doing the same thing." I explained. Alice thought about it for a moment, then a huge smile broke across her face. Bella sat down then, staring at her like she was crazy. "Do I wanna know?" She asked Emmett. "You like me." Alice said, smiling still. "Alice, hate to break it to you, but I don't swing that way." Bella said. Emmett, and Jasper both broke out in laughter. "I don't mean it like that, Bella, dirty mind much? I mean you like me, like a sister. You like me." Alice explained, after rolling her eyes. "That's news to me." Bella shrugged. Her cheeks turned red as she looked back down at her food, clearly that was something she didn't want anyone to know. Let alone have Alice know. Her face turned to one of worry, I didn't understand. Was it bad that she was beginning to like us?

_Playlist:_

_Come On Get Higher- Matt Nathanson_


	19. Closer

Chapter 19: Closer

**Bella POV**

Alice had just informed me that I like her, like a sister. What was I supposed to say? Oh yeah, Alice, I like you, a lot actually? No, I couldn't say that. Why is it when I tell myself I wont grow attach to them, that I always do the opposite? I sighed, and stared at my lunch. I suddenly wasn't very hungry. "Bella? You okay?" Emmett asked, looking at me concern. "Yeah, Em, I'm fine." I said, smiling reassuringly. He smiled back at me, beaming actually. It was impossible not to get close to them. I focused my gaze out the window, I wanted to look any where but at the people sitting at the table. Chances are, I wont be eating lunch with them in a while. That is, if the Dr. Cullen, and Mrs. Cullen are just like all the other foster families before them. And I highly doubt that my luck has changed much.

The rest of the day passed with consequence. Mike Newton for some unfathomable reason talked to me in gym today. One word to describe it; weird. He walked up to me and acted as if we had been best friends for ever. I some how managed to get out of talking to him, and walked to the whole other side of the gym, keeping the distance between us very, very large. It was after school, and I was back at the Cullen's. I was sitting on a bench that was in the middle of their garden in the back yard. From behind me, I heard a twig snap, alerting me that someone was hear. A flash of blonde came into view. "Hi Rose." I greeted. "Can I sit down?" She asked, motioning to the space beside. "It is a free country." I told her. Her lip twitched up into a smile, and then she sat down. "Now, I know you didn't come out here to enjoy the view, so, what's on your mind?" I asked, turning to face her. "You know." She shrugged. I laughed. "No, no I don't know." I told her.

"I wanted to talk to you, with out an audience." Rose said. "Oh," I mumbled. What could Rosalie Hale possibly want to talk to me about. "I was wondering why you havent unpacked your suitcase." She finally admitted. "How do you know?" I asked her. "Bella, secrets in that house, don't stay secrets for very long." She told me, motioning back to the house. A laugh escaped my lips, if that were true, then everyone would know about the accident, and the kiss Edward and I had. Not to mention the scars on my wrist. "Honestly, I don't see the point." I said, shrugging. "What do you mean?" She asked me. "Rose, no offense, but you havent experience loss like I have." I told her. "You're right. But I have experienced pain before, maybe not as much as you or maybe even more, but I do know what that feels like." She said. I stayed silent, waiting for her to finish. She sighed. "The summer before my sophomore year, I went out to Rochester, New York to visit some family. There was this guy, he lived a couple streets over. Royce King." The way she said his name, it was so full of hate, and disgust, that I never thought someone so beautiful could be capable of all that.

"He was good looking, don't get me wrong. But there was something off about him, something, what's the word, crazed? Anyway, I went out on a date with him, because it made my mom happy. He acted like a gentleman, the good guy. I knew differently, so when he asked if I wanted to go out with him again, I politely declined." Rosa continued. I was lost. Why was she telling me this? "The next night, I was walking home from my friend Vera's house. When I saw Royce. He was drunk, so very, very drunk. He was so different from the gentleman that took me out to dinner, but I wasn't really surprised. Apparently, he wasn't alone. He had three drunk friends with him. Well, to skip all the rated R parts, it's safe to say that night didn't have a happy ending." Rose finished, then shuddered. I couldn't help but have a new found, respect, admiration, how ever you wanted to put it, I saw Rosalie Hale in a new light. "Try living that night over and over again for a year straight." I said, with out really thinking. It seemed I was doing that a lot lately. Rose's eyes widened, then they softened as she looked at me. "I would probably just end it all before the second month." She said. "Those were my thoughts exactly. Apparently, I didn't stick to them, eh? Seeing how, here I am." I said, trying to make light about it, but the damage was already done. I'd let a piece of me slip. And it seemed that wall I try so hard to keep up, was slowly chipping away.

"Bella, I don't know what the hell you went through. And I completely respect you not wanting to tell me, or anyone for that matter. But I want you to know, I am here for you. If you ever need to talk. It appears that you and I are a lot alike. And I have a funny feeling that you are going to be around for a while." Rose said, smiling, and standing up. "I'll see you inside. I don't know about you, but I'm glad we had this talk Bella." Rose said, then walked back towards the house. I sat there. Rose may think we have a lot in common, but I think we have absolutely nothing in common. She has a family, a great boyfriend, people who love her. What did I have? Memories, and scars. That's what I have. Time had passed, and I stayed on the bench. Soon, I was surrounded by complete darkness, it was oddly welcoming. I wonder how long I could stay out here until they came looking for me. I smiled at the thought. I sighed, that probably isn't the best thing to do. Seeing how they still haven't gotten over what happened on my eighteenth birthday. They still think I'm a teenage drinker. I sighed, and made my way back to the house. No sense in getting their knickers in a twist…again.

I walked through the sliding doors in the back. "Oh, Bella, you're just in time. Dinner is ready." Mrs. Cullen smiled. I nodded, and found a seat at the dining room table. Dinner was entertaining to say the least. Emmett, and Alice both talked very animatedly about their days at school. Edward cracked a smile every now and then, when something really seemed to amuse him. "Bella?" Alice asked. I turned to look at her. "Do you wanna go shopping with Rose and I tomorrow?" She asked, obviously repeating a question. "No." I said, shaking my head. Emmett, and Dr. Cullen both laughed. Jasper smiled. "Why? It'll be fun." Alice whined. "Alice, your definition of fun, is different from the rest of the world." I told her. That caused the whole table to erupt in laughter, while Alice pouted in my direction. "Pouts don't work on me." I said, shrugging. "Fine." She groaned. "Rose, are you in?" She asked. "Always." Rose nodded.

I retreated upstairs early that night. I wasn't in the mood to be included in their conversations. I grabbed the blanket from my bed, and once again went out on the patio. I liked it out here. "Is this going to be a habit of ours?" Edward asked, a soon as I shut the slider behind me. I smiled, but he didn't see. "I don't know." I said, shrugging. "Well, to be blunt, I would rather meet out here, than in there, when people are watching with a fine tooth comb." Edward said, and then the lights came on. He was wearing close to the same thing as last night. The pajama pants were different. "I'm going to have to agree with you on that. Alice isn't to keen on personal space." I said. "I wish I could say she gets better, but she doesn't." Edward said, a smile of admiration tugging on his lips. He was telling the truth, that much I could see. "The people you want to change the most, never do." I said. "Speaking from experience?" He asked, an eyebrow raised. "Possibly. But, doesn't everyone?" I questioned. "Touché." He said.

He continued to stare at me, his eyes roaming my face. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Edward leaned in towards my face. He went increasingly slow, it looked like the closer he got to my face, the slower he went. My heart sped up, it felt like it was attuned to his face. If he went slower, my heart would beat faster. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, his lips were on mine. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him closer.

_Playlist:_

_Far Away- Nickelback_

_Spin- Lifehouse_


	20. Smitten

**Chapter 20: Smitten**

**Edward POV**

"You've been acting so weird lately." Jasper informed me. We were in my room, sitting around, doing absolutely nothing. "I'm sorry." I said sarcastically. "Ever since that Bella chick showed up. It's like you're a different Edward." Jasper said, plucking away at my bass. My fist clenched, Bella wasn't a chick. She was just Bella. I know Jasper didn't mean it as a bad thing, that was just how Jasper talked. It just made my blood boil. "What do you want me to do about it? And what the hell does this have to do with Bella?" I asked. "Everything, this has absolutely everything to do with Bella. When ever you are in the same room with you her, you cant keep your eyes off her. Your completely smitten with the girl." He said, exasperated, as if I were an idiot. "Smitten." I scoffed. "Dude, you're way passed smitten." He said. I rolled my eyes. Not saying anything.

"Oh, shit." He said, looking at me. "What?" I asked. "Something happened between you two? Didn't it?" He asked, recognition crossing his face. "What? don't be ridiculous." I told him. "You cant bull shit your way out of this one." He laughed. I sighed, it was either tell him now, or have him annoy me for how ever long I don't tell him. "We may have kissed." I shrugged. Plucking the strings on my guitar. "May have? How do you may have kissed someone?" Jasper asked, his eyebrow raised. "We kissed, and then she bolted." I said. "She bolted." He stated, pondering it. I sighed. "Maybe you should kiss her again." He thought a loud. "Why?" I asked. "Think about it, maybe that moment you two kissed was the wrong moment. So now you have to kiss her again, and see if she runs. If she doesn't, well, I'll let your mind wonder." He said. "Jasper?" Alice called from the door. Jasper smiled wide. I rolled my eyes. "I'll see you later." He said, then walked towards the door. He stood there, but then turned around and looked at me. "She's a nice girl, Edward." Jasper said, then ducked out of my room. He said it like he was warning me. As if I didn't know Bella was a nice girl. Of course she's a nice girl, that she's all wrong for me. No, that's not it, I'm all wrong for her. She deserves someone better, someone not broken. But that's the thing, I couldn't stay away from her. As hard as I tried, I just couldn't not be around her. Bella is like my own personal brand of heroin. Simply put, I needed her.

I saw Bella walk outside, going through the slider door, I argued with myself whether or not to follow her. But then I saw Rose going out there too, I decided it would be best if I stayed inside. Emmett was in the living room playing video games, Jasper and Alice were who knows where, doing who knows what. Bella and Rose were most likely talking outside. Esme was cooking dinner, and Carlisle had not returned home from work. I sighed, and walked into the living room. "Got room for one more?" I asked Emmett, as I grabbed a control. "Prepare to eat dust." He smiled, like a little kid. I chuckled, and we began the race. Half way through our fifth race, Emmett paused the game, and turned to look at me. An unreadable expression in his eyes. He looked into the kitchen, and saw that it was empty. "Look Edward, I don't know what is going on between you and Bella, and I guess I don't want to know. But whatever it is, it's not good, for either of you. Bella doesn't need the shit that comes from your past, she has enough to worry about with whatever the hell happened to her. I know you Edward, and I know a part of you knows this isn't right. That it cant last. You are my brother, and Bella is my sister, whether by blood or on paper. But I refuse to sit back and watch you screw up Bella's life even more. I'm sorry Edward, I am, but at the same time, I know some of your past, and Bella doesn't deserve that." Emmett finally said. I didn't say anything, I just sat there staring at him. For the time I've been here, Emmett has never said that much at once to me. He unpaused the game, and acted like nothing happened. Sixteen races later. It is safe to say I did not eat Emmett's dust, if anything he ate my dust, sixteen times. "You cheated." Emmett grumbled as we walked to the dining room table. Yeah, Emmett is acting like he didn't say all that. "Stop being a sore loser." I said, sitting down. If he acting so can I. "I cant be a sore loser, if you didn't even play fairly." He told me. "Emmett, Edward always beats you." Jasper said, taking a seat. I swear, sometimes I think Carlisle and Esme adopted Jasper and Rose, and never told us about it. Dinner was like every other night. Alice and Emmett described every waking minute of their day. They got very animated. I couldn't help but smile when Alice informed us about the dirty looks teacher's gave her. I swear, teachers gossip as much as the students. Dinner had ended, and everyone migrated to the living room.

I snuck up the stairs, and into my room. I quickly put on my pajama pants, and a sweatshirt, and stepped out onto the patio. The cold air hitting my face. I was on the patio by myself, in complete silence, when the slider door opened, and Bella stepped out. I smiled to myself. "Is this going to be a habit of ours?" I asked her, as soon as she shut the door. "I don't know." Bella said, and I could see her figure shrug. I thought I caught a glimpse of her smiling, but I put that aside and blamed it on my imagination. Emmett's conversation repeated itself over in my head. Again, and again. "Well, to be blunt, I would rather meet out here, than in there, when people are watching with a fine tooth comb." I said, and then the lights came on. She had her blanket, once again, hugged around her fragile body. I was incredibly tempted to just wrap my arms around her, and shield her from the cold. But scaring her away wasn't on the top of my to do list. "I'm going to have to agree with you on that. Alice isn't to keen on personal space." Bella said, her fondness was in her voice. I knew she liked Alice. "I wish I could say she gets better, but she doesn't." I said, smiling to myself. Alice will be Alice. Cant live with her, cant live without her. "The people you want to change the most, never do." She said. "Speaking from experience?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. I wasn't expecting her to say something like that. "Possibly. But, doesn't everyone?" Bella questioned back. "Touché." I said.

I stared at her. The conversation I had with Jasper running through my head over and over again. What if he was right? And the moment we kissed was just bad timing, and that's why Bella ran off? I looked at her face, trying to see if I would find the least bit of hesitation. Nothing, and it was very frustrating. I sighed. There was only one way I could ever find out the truth. So, before I lost my nerve, I leant forward. I went slow, slower then I would with any other girl. But Bella wasn't just any other girl. Not Katy, not Jessica, not Lauren, and certainly not Tanya. She was Bella. Finally, our lips touched, and since when we first kissed, everything felt _right._ After a few seconds, Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, and pulled me closer. I could tell if this was any different, because she did that last time. But, deep inside me somewhere, this was different. Bella was different from all the other girls I have kissed. I wrapped my arms around her waist hesitantly, a part of me was still waiting for her run off. We pulled away, after both of us were gasping for breath. I smiled crookedly down at her, and she looked away blushing.

_Playlist-_

_Time Stands Still- All American Rejects_


	21. Zombie

Chapter 21: Zombie

**Edward POV**

It's been three months since Bella and I shared the kiss on the patio. If it were a normal relationship, I would say we are boyfriend and girlfriend, but Bella and I are anything but normal. It's amazing how well we have been able to hide our dysfunctional relationship. The side glances at dinner, our knees accidentally touching while we are watching TV, the signs are all there. Bella and I are just very good at hiding secrets. We haven't gone any further than having our secret make out sessions on the patio. It's not that I haven't thought about going further, it's just that, for once, I'm okay with not going further. I've finally become aware of Bella's nights. Most nights, she wakes up screaming, it's like the recurring dream I have about the night her parents died, where I cant do anything. All I can do is sit by my door, and wait for them to end. Of course, after they do end, I cant get to sleep after that. I wish I could read her mind just once, and find out what she has nightmares about.

Winter had passed, and spring had arrived. Everyday seemed to be getting more green. School was school. Bella and I are still act the same, hardly acknowledging the other's existence. But that works for us, and it's how we want it to stay. If it did come out that we were in some sort of relationship, I don't think people would approve. Alice wouldn't approve, because, well, my track record with woman isn't a good one. By no means. Carlisle and Esme wouldn't approve one, because we live together, two, because we aren't good for each other. Both of us coming from broken pasts, can only lead to more destruction. Emmett would be hesitant to accept it, because he would want to protect Bella from bad guys. Ergo, me. Knowing how people would react, didn't change the fact that there was an undeniable pull I felt towards Bella whenever we were in the same room, or even apart from each other, the pull was still there. It didn't make the electricity I felt whenever I touch her go away. In the back of my head, I know. I know this relationship isn't a good one, I know it can only lead to more bad things, I know it wont last. At some point, I just have to end it, saying it was a mistake, that we aren't good enough for each other. To tell her to move on, as if I never existed. Cause what needs to happen, for Bella to overcome whatever happened in her past, she needs to forget about me. Live her life.

That was exactly what I did. I figured out how I would do it too. It was all planned. I told her to meet me out the patio, at eleven last night.

"Hey." Bella said, walking out on the patio, joining me. "Bella," I sighed. "We need to talk." Worry crossed her face, but then there was another expression, almost like she was expecting something like this. "Okay. What's up?" She asked, her voice, strong. "I've been thinking a lot lately. And I think that this, us, has to end. Face it, we aren't good for each other, and I don't think we ever will be." I told her. I could feel it, this wasn't just like every other break up I've been through. This was bigger, worse. But I was doing it for Bella, all for Bella. "Oh." She said. "I'm not sure what we were, maybe something fun, a distraction, to take our mind away from the fucked up lives we live in. but I know it cant go on, you deserve someone who can give you everything you want Bella, cause you deserve everything. And face it, I'm not that guy. Just live your life. It will be as if I never existed." I said. Bella was quiet for a moment, then she let out a breath. "Guess this is goodbye, in a way." She said. I nodded. "I'll see you around Edward." She whispered, then walked back the way she came. I stood, watching her go. When I was sure she couldn't see me, I punched the wall.

"So, Bella rejected you. It's not the end of the world." Jasper said, annoyed. We were in my room, listening to music. "What?" I asked him. "You got that Bella look." He said. "What Bella look?" I asked. What is he talking about? He sighed. "Whenever you are thinking about Bella, you get this look." He explained. "I do not." I snapped. "Guys get rejected by girls all the time. Suck it up, and get over it." Jasper said. I rolled my eyes, he didn't know what he was talking about. For the six months that I have known Isabella Swan, her secrets are still just that. Secrets. She hasn't told me anything her past, or the foster families she's had before us. Especially that, if by chance someone asks her about other families, she completely just shuts down. The only things I know about her, are that her parents died, she has nightmares every night, she tried to kill herself, and Rose told Alice that she and Bella are a lot alike. It's not like I will ever know what her secrets are, not now anyway. I find that hard to believe, no one is like Bella. Something that is interesting about Bella is, that whenever someone says 'trust me' to her, she says she doesn't trust people who say trust me. Weird.

It was Saturday, Bella, Alice, and Rose were out shopping, and should be home at one. Which is in a few minutes. As if on cue, the front door opened, and people entered. Jasper pretty much ran out of my bedroom, I kept less excited, and to keep up the façade, I calmly walked out of my room, putting a bored expression on my face. Jasper was standing next to Alice and Rose, the three of them were watching Bella walk up the stairs, a confused expression on their faces. When I passed Bella, I glanced at her face. She looked like a zombie, her eyes were focused on something far away, that wasn't really there. Her expression was dead, like the Bella I know wasn't there anymore. My hand instinctively moved to touch her cheek, but I quickly caught the movement, and stuck my hand in my pocket. I did not have the right to do that anymore. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs, standing next to Alice, and watched Bella disappear up the stairs.

"What's up with her?" I asked, it took a lot to mask the concern in my voice. I repeated to myself that I shouldn't care. "I have no freaking clue. The three of us were in the mall, actually having a good time. When Bella just shuts down, just like that. Her mood swiftly ended the shopping trip, so we left, and she hasn't said a word in over an hour." Alice asked, confusion and worry in her voice. The rest of the afternoon was awful. Bella stayed in her room until around six when she finally graced us with her presence. She was in her room for five hours, I don't even stay in my room that long at one time. I watched as she entered the living room, her arms were wrapped tight around her chest, almost like if they weren't there, she would fall apart. Her eyes were still unfocused, and her expression dead. Where did my Bella go? I really should get my thoughts straight. I cant have it both ways. "Bella? You okay?" Alice asked her. Bella's eyes flickered to her face, acknowledging that fact that she heard her, then they flickered to mine. I didn't recognize the person I was looking at. Her eyes were no longer innocent, they weren't the lively brown that looked around her surroundings, taking it all in. Something, or someone took her from me.

Her eyes left my face, and focused on the TV. Alice got up from the couch and went towards Bella. Alice went to put her hand on Bella's shoulder, but Bella flinch away. Something she hasn't done since we got back from the cruise. "Bella, we're not going to hurt you. We just want to help. Trust me." Alice said. Oh, great. Alice said those two words. Now she's going to get it. Bella grimaced, and her face went to stone. "Trust me." She said, it sounded like she was mimicking someone, but that someone wasn't Alice. "The last person that told me to trust them, ending up sticking his hand down my pants, so excuse me if I'm not so welcoming with the concept of trusting people." Bella said, her eyes unfocused. The room went completely silent. My stomach twisted, and it felt like I was going to throw up. I'm a jerk, a complete and utter bastard. Everything I touch get's ruined, destroyed, damaged. What ever words you want to use, feel free to. So many emotions were on Alice's face, that I couldn't pin point one, Jasper looked at me, and Rose looked at Bella. Her eyes beginning to water. Bella looked at Rose. "A year, right Rose?" She asked, obviously meaning for it to be rhetorical.

_Playlist-_

_The Kill- 30 Seconds To Mars_

_The Scientist- Coldplay_


	22. Him

Chapter 22: Him

**Bella POV**

It was Saturday, and Alice woke me up at six o'clock, and told me to get my ass in the shower. I heard her say something about a shopping trip. Three months ago was when my walls completely crashed to the ground, and I let Edward in. Given, that I didn't let him in fully, he doesn't know about my past, but I've given him more of me then I ever thought I was capable. It was an odd feeling, knowing that someone has a part of you. The part I gave him, I couldn't get back, even after he ended what ever it was we shared. I knew it was inevitable, and I knew that one of us would end it sooner or later. I guess I was naïve enough to think of it as something more than fun, or a distraction. I'll never make that same mistake twice. "Spring shopping is a must. And then we can focus on summer clothes. Bathing suit, short, tank tops, things like that." Alice informed Rose and I, as we drove to a mall in Seattle. I'm still baffled as to why Alice wants me to come. I argue with her about every single piece of clothing she picks out for me. I would think that she got tired of it. Rose looked at me apologetically through the mirror. Ever since we talked, we kind of have this comrade like relationship. We don't exactly know each other, but if the time ever came that we need a shoulder, we knew they would be there.

Emmett's the big brother I never had. He'd be the first person that would beat someone up if I ever asked him to. Hmm, Mike Newton is getting on my nerves lately. He continuously asks me out, and he just cant take a hint. Oh, I have given him plenty. Jasper is like the subconscious of the group in a way. He's the person that keeps us all honest. I've finally come to terms with Alice. I cant say that I've gotten used to her non-stop energy, but I don't think anyone is used to that. She is a actually a great friend once you get to know her, they all are. Jacob's still Jacob. He is the one person I know I can always go to, no matter what. I still haven't forgiven him for bringing me back, only because there is nothing for me to forgive him for. He did the right thing, I screwed up. It was about nine by the time we got to the mall. Alice had planned ahead, and already knew what stores to go to. If shopping was a completive sport, Alice would be world ranked.

Three hours later, and Alice was still going strong. "Isabella Swan? At a mall? Pinch me, I must be dreaming." I looked up and saw Jake walking towards me. I smiled. "Well, I'm a girl. And apparently this is what girls do, at seven in the morning on a Saturday." I said, looking pointedly at Alice. She looked at me innocently. "Hey, Quil, Embry." I said, seeing Jake's two friends. "Hey, Bells." They both greeted. I met them about two months ago, and whenever I hang out with Jake, they seem to show up, and join us. Doesn't bother me, they are fun to hang out with. "Hi, Rose. Alice." Jake greeted them as well. I sighed. Alice still hasn't warmed up to Jake any, and he knows it. That makes it awkward to be in the same room with the two of them for long periods of time. "So, Jake, what are you doing here, mall rat?" I asked. Jake laughed. "It's my sisters birthday today. And Billy wants me to pick up the cake he ordered. Of course, knowing Billy, it's not ready yet." Jake said. "Rachel and Rebecca." I said, I vaguely remembered them. Bits and pieces here and there.

"As interesting at that sounds. We are really busy, so excuse us." Alice said. I rolled my eyes. "I've been summoned. I'll call you later Jake. Bye, Quil, Embry." I smiled, and followed Alice and Rose. "Jeez, Ali, I know you don't like him. But you don't have to wear your dislike on your face." I told her, irritated. I mean, she could at least pretend to like him for my own piece of mind. She shrugged, and refrained from commenting. Instead, she threw a bunch of clothes at me, and ordered me to try them on. Before I went into the dressing room, I put the four bikinis she gave me on the chair. When I shut the door, I heard Alice groan, and Rose laugh. We had just finished with that store, and were making our way to another store. "Please tell me we are almost done." I begged. "Silly Bella, we still have the third floor left." Alice told me, happily. I groaned. Shopping was my worst living night mare. We just turned the corner, and were about to walk pass the food court. When I saw his face.

He was sitting at t table with guys his age, laughing, having a good time. I stopped short, and the two bags I was holding, fell to the floor. Rose and Alice were a few feet in front of me when they realized I wasn't with them any more. They stopped, and walked back to me. "Bella?" Rose asked, waving a hand in front of my face. I didn't see them standing in front of me. All I saw was him. I didn't say anything, I couldn't say anything. I was frozen where I stood. I think I was mumbling something, because Alice said, "I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her." I couldn't picture either of them slapping me. "I'm not going to slap her Alice. don't be ridiculous." Rose said. There was silence between the three of us. I watched them as they looked where I was looking. But they wouldn't see anything, all they saw was an overcrowded food court. But me, I saw the one person that took a part of me, and I'll never get that back. "Alice, we should go." Rose whispered. "Your right. This is all just too weird for me." Alice agreed. "Come on, Bella. We'll take you home." Rose said, soothingly, as if that would help.

The ride back to Forks was long. I stared blankly ahead, not speaking, not showing any sign of life. I was afraid of what I would say if I opened my mouth. I was sure I wasn't going to break down, I was done crying about my past, I had no tears left to cry. We arrived home, and three of us went inside. The shopping bags left forgotten in the back of the car. I watched Jasper coming down the stairs, looking at me confused. I walked up the stairs, and that was when I passed Edward. I didn't look at him, I just walked past him, exactly how we always acted towards each other, when others were in the room. I finally reached my room, closed the door behind me, and laid on my bed. I grabbed my pillow, took a breath, and screamed into it. I stopped screaming when my throat ran dry. I didn't know why he was in Seattle, he lived in Dayton, Washington. That was a long drive to and from. My mind wandered back, and I couldn't stop the memories that played like a movie in my head.

I'd been in my room for five hours now. For the past hour my stomach has been rumbling, I haven't eaten all day. I argued whether or not to go downstairs. I couldn't stay up her all day, I mean, a girls gotta eat. I took a few deep breaths, and tried to regain the sanity I had left, and exited the safety of my room. I made my way down the stairs and into the living room. Jasper, Rose, Alice, and Edward were all there, looking at me. "Bella? You okay?" Alice was the first to speak. I looked at her, letting her know that I hadn't gone completely crazy, and that I hear her. For some reason I looked at Edward. At a glance his expression was boredom, but I could see the concern. His green eyes blazed with it. I could feel the distance between us growing again more so then when us ended, and the walls were already up from last night, but they seemed thicker, surrounding me, protecting me. I tore my eyes away from his face. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Alice get up from her spot next to Jasper, and walked over to me. She reached out to put her hand on my shoulder, but I shied away from her. I hadn't done that in three months. It was amazing how something could change everything you worked for. "Bella, we're not going to hurt you. We just want to help. Trust me." Alice said. The memories came back again. "Trust me." I said, mimicking him the first time he said those two words to me. "The last person that told me to trust them, ended up sticking his hand down my pants. So excuse me if I'm not welcoming with the concept of trust." I said. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, if only the weight could take the memories, and pain away. The room became uncomfortably silent, I cant say I didn't expect it. How else are people going to react. Too many emotions flashed on Alice's face. Pain, anger, confusion just to name a few. Jasper looked at Edward, I thought that was weird. Rose focused on me, water forming in her eyes. Realization crossed her face, like that conversation we had three months ago finally made sense. "A year, right Rose?" I said.

_Playlist-_

_I Miss You- Blink 182_

_Ave Mary A- Pink_

_When It All Falls Apart- The Veronicas_

_Tears Don't Fall- Bullet For My Valentine_


	23. Alone

**Chapter 23: Alone**

**Bella POV**

The room remained silent. Uncomfortable. "Whoa, who died?" Emmett broke the silence as he walked into the living room. Everyone seemed to snap out of their reverie at the sound of an outside voice. "Wow, Emmett, could you be anymore obnoxious?" Alice snapped at him. That was weird, I've never seen Alice talk like that to Emmett. Not once. Emmett's expression went from confusion, to shock, then to anger. "Well, I'm sorry for walking into the living room of a house I live in. I didn't mean to interrupt your little get together." He said, still angry. Hmm, he must be PMSing. I smiled, imagining Emmett as a girl, the smile soon vanished as I got weird looks from everyone excluding Emmett. "What?" I asked them. "How can you smile after telling us all of that?" Alice asked, exasperated. I flinched, remembering. Technically, I didn't tell them anything, I just insinuated something. And I could smile because it felt like a weight had just been lifted off my chest. I felt somewhat free.

I remember the day like it happened only hours ago. Except it happened four years ago. I was sitting on the couch in the White's living room, watching TV. Mrs. White was at work at the bank. Mr. White, or Jack which he wanted me to call him, sat next to me on the couch, a beer in hand. He had that presence that would just make you uncomfortable. He didn't even have to do anything, just be in the same room as you. Jack smiled down at me, a creepy, sadistic one. "Isabella?" He beckoned me to look at him. I tore my eyes from TV, after a long inner debate with myself on doing so. I looked at him then, his eyes weren't even glazed over yet, so this was either his first or second beer. I began to look away from his sadistic grey eyes. But he grabbed my face in his hand, and held me in the position to look at him. "Isabella, tell me, do you trust me?" He asked, another creepy smile pulling on his lips. I stared at him for a moment. I had to trust him, didn't I? He was giving me a place to sleep, and food. "I have to trust you." I answered. He seemed to like this answer, a little too much maybe. It wasn't until his hand reached towards my stomach, that I realized what he was going to do. I was too stunned to move, or make a sound for that matter. I shuddered at the memory of how his hand felt.

"I know what that feels like." Rose whispered to me. I looked at her, arching an eyebrow. "Remembering." She answered. Remembering. Yeah, that was the worst part of it. "Remembering what? What the hell did I miss?" Emmett groaned. Everyone turned to look at me. "It's not like there is anything you can possibly do to him even if I tell you Emmett." I sighed. "_Him_? Who is _him_?" Emmett asked, stepping closer. "Are you really going to make me repeat it?" I asked him, almost begging for him to say no. admitting it happened once was bad enough. Admitting it, made it real, made it more true. I guess I told myself that it never happened, it never happened over and over again, that I actually believed it never did. He didn't answer my question, he just stared at me, blinking every so often. "Bella, did you tell anyone?" Alice asked. I looked away from Emmett's waiting face, and fixated my gaze on her. "No, Alice, I didn't tell anyone, I just let him do whatever the hell he wanted to me every night for a year.…Have you gone completely insane! Of course I told someone, I told his wife, Mrs. Viola, the guidance councilor at my school. You know what they said it was?" I asked. She shook her head. "They said it was cry for attention. I was told a lot of orphans make up stories about their foster parents, thinking back on that, I wonder how many of them were actually telling the truth." I trailed off, not wanting to continue. The room went quite again. I sighed.

"He was there, in the food court. He was laughing with his friends, having a good time. While I'm here, having to remember every day all what that bastard did to me." I told them, feeling a need to fill in the silence. That statement did it, Alice burst out in tears. My stomach clenched, no one ever cried over me. "What's going on in here?" Mrs. Cullen asked walking in, followed by Mr. Cullen. "Nothing." I said quickly. "_Nothing_?" Rose asked, standing up. Uh oh. "So, what? You thing what happened to you was nothing? What happened to me was nothing?" She asked. "That's not what I mean, and you know it." I told her. "Will someone please explain to me what is going on?" Mrs. Cullen repeated. "Just forget about it, it's not like there is anything anyone can do about it. It happened in the past, why the hell cant we just leave it there?" I asked. Before anyone could say anything more, I ran back up the stairs, forgetting all about my growing hunger. This wasn't how I wanted to tell them, hell, I didn't even want to tell them. But once again I was irrational, and didn't think things through.

I watched as the clock on my wall hit midnight. _Ting_. The noise from my window. I ignored it. _Ting, ting._ I sighed, and got up. The house was asleep, I wonder if they told Mr. and Mrs. Cullen what I told them. I honestly don't think I would be mad if they did. I would rather them tell Mr. or Mrs. Cullen than me. I don't think I would be able to survive seeing the look on either of their faces. I figured it would be somewhere along the lines of how my mom looked when I stumbled out of Brent's house. Too drunk too walk. Between the lines of beyond sadness, and anger. My parents said they weren't angry at me, and they were telling the truth. I think that was what scared me the most. Knowing they weren't mad at me. I opened my window, and peaked down. "Jacob, what the hell are you doing here?" I whispered to him. "I need to talk to you." He said. "At midnight? Outside my window?" I called. "I could have come to the door if you rather that. But I didn't want to wake anyone." He said. "Do you know who much trouble you will be in if you get caught?" I asked him. "I don't care about that. I really need you to forgive me, Bella. About what I did on your birthday." He said. Did he seriously just say that? "I cant forgive you, Jacob." I told him. "Fine. I'll just stay here until you do." He said, and I saw his shadow sit down. Ugh, I swear he is so childish sometimes. "Just hold on. I'll be down in a sec." I told him. I pictured him smiling in the darkness. "Stupid, Jacob Black." I muttered to myself. I began to jump down. When the last voice I expected stopped me.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked, from my doorway. I looked back, and he was standing a few feet in my room, staring at me. "Mind your own business." I told him. He was silent for a moment. "You cant leave Bella." He said, stepping closer, a pained expression on his face. He confused me. He tells me he doesn't want me, that he shouldn't exist for me, and now he is trying to stop me from running away? "What's it matter to you, what I do or not? I was just a distraction right?" I asked him. Regret crossed his face. My heart tightened. "What the hell is taking so long?" Jake's voice came from below. I sighed, thanks Jake, thanks a lot. Edward now looked angry, and _jealous._ "It will be as if I never existed." I used Edward's words on him, then disappeared. I landed on the ground, not even bothering to use the tree first. "Jesus, Bella, I said I wanted to talk. Not that I wanted you to kill yourself in the process." Jake told me, helping me up. I ignored Jake, and looked back up at my opened window. I was expecting this time to be like the first time Edward caught me sneaking out, that he would just walk away. But he didn't, instead I saw him looking out my window down at me. I watched as Edward swung his leg over the window sill, and then was getting bigger and bigger. You have to be kidding me. "What the hell is this Romeo and Juliet? Bella tries to kill herself so you have to, too. What is this world coming to?" Jake sighed, exasperated.

"Bella, where are you going?" Edward asked, sending Jacob an accusatory glare. "Out. Clearly." I said. "Don't do this again, not to Esme, not to me." Edward said, stepping closer. "You know what, Bells, I'll catch up with you later." Jake said, smiling a little at me. Then walking away. Thanks, Jake, thanks a lot. "I cant believe you were going to runaway again." Edward said, disappointed. "You are so, so...ugh. I cant believe _you_! You break up with me, saying we aren't going to work. And now you are trying to stop me from supposedly running away. You are so blind, I wasn't even running away, you idiot. Even if I was running away, do you really think Jake would be my get away?" I yelled. He flinched. "Bella, I-" He began. "No. I don't care. Not anymore. I don't need you. I don't need anybody." I told him. "Why are you so set on being alone?" He asked me. I was taken aback, I sure as hell wasn't expecting him to ask me that. I thought about it. "Sometimes it's better to be alone, no one can hurt you that way." I answered.

_Playlist:_

_Apologize- One Republic_

_Use Somebody- Kings of Leon_


End file.
